


All The Love You Can Give

by Narcissus_rose



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Brief Mention of Childbirth, Captain Ben Solo, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Jedi Rey (Star Wars), Mentions of pregnancy in epilogue, Mutual Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, Sound of Music AU, Victorian Flower Language, everyone gets a happy ending, i am the oprah winfrey of happy endings, nanny rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:41:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24209887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narcissus_rose/pseuds/Narcissus_rose
Summary: After another governess quitting as a result of his children’s bad behaviour, captain Ben Solo is sent a young Jedi girl from his uncles temple to look after them, but will Rey be any different?————Or the sound of music au that nobody but me wanted…
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 33
Kudos: 112





	1. How do you solve a problem like Rey?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi to anybody that is reading this. Just to let you know this is the first fanfic I have written in a while and my first one on ao3 so any constructive criticism you have would be much appreciated. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The Solo family were happy once, but poor Mira could barely remember a time before her mother died and her father had become bitter and sad. Being the youngest of seven children she couldn’t understand why her father was always grumpy, other than he had been so for so long that she believed it to be his permanent state, although she understood his foul mood to currently be the result of another governess leaving.

“I cannot take this anymore !” Governess Okhana screamed, “I will not be subjected to another trick, cruelty or any other form of abuse they have in store for me! Now, I understand Captain Solo that this is a rash decision but I truly cannot take it anymore! No matter what I do those terrors find a way of playing the cruellest tricks on me. Just yesterday I found my bed filled with spiders, and I know I don’t have any proof but I know it was them. So if you please I am formally handing in my resignation and will be going to a family where the children are not actively trying to maim or kill me!”

Governess Okhana’s voice grew higher as she shrieked her monologue at the captain while the children stood at the bottom of the staircase watching as their father tried to get a word in edgewise. Mira knew that she and her siblings were in trouble as Okhana was the fifth governess of the summer to quit in a rage.

As Okhana stormed out of the villa slamming the door behind her, the captain slowly turned to face his children glaring daggers at them. Much to Mira’s surprise, he didn’t say anything, he didn’t shout, he didn’t rave, he didn’t rant. Instead, he sighed and shook his head in defeat as he walked away into his office.

* * *

Rey knew she shouldn’t be out on the hills overlooking the Jedi temple instead of afternoon meditation. she couldn’t help herself, she never could. The grass was so green and the sky was so blue she just wanted to be a part of it, and if that meant missing meditation then so be it. she could feel the force around her more powerfully than in the stuffy halls of a Jedi temple, here everything was alive, the grass, the stream, the hills, everything.

Rey spun around as she took the feeling of it all in, savouring every moment. Despite living in the temple since she was nineteen she still hadn’t accustomed to vast expanses of green. She had been found on Jakku by master Skywalker after he sensed that she had an unusually strong connection to the force. After showing her what she could achieve with the right guidance, she didn’t need much convincing. She had fallen in love with Naboo the moment they broke through the clouds where she could see all the green of the planet.

The temple was unlike any building she had seen before. On Jakku, she lived inside of a fallen AT-AT and most homes were comprised of scrap metal and bits of loose fabric, so seeing a building like the Jedi temple was a whole new experience for her. She hadn’t known that you could build with stone to create such impressive structures, with winding corridors and rooms that could fit hundreds of people. At the time she found the newness of it all overwhelming but now she was far more accustomed to it.

Rey was pulled out of her trance however with the harsh reminder of her responsibilities at the temple when she heard the bells ringing signifying the end of meditation. In a sudden panic, she sprinted down the hill towards reality as she left her little escape from the world behind.

* * *

It had become a common occurrence in the Jedi temple for Rey to go missing, in fact, it had become far rarer to find her doing what she was supposed to, like afternoon meditation, so today was no different. Asoka, however accustomed to this fact, still tended to worry when she went missing.

“Master Luke,” Asoka called out as she ran toward him “have you seen Rey anywhere, I’ve searched all the usual places and she was nowhere to be found”

“Asoka, seeing as it is Rey I suggest looking somewhere rather unusual” luke responded calmly as the pair walked together before coming upon a group of other Jedi masters in one of the temple's open chambers, overlooked by a balcony connecting the temple with the dormitories. Upon noticing the pair, the other Jedi bowed in respect before Asoka could enquire about Rey’s whereabouts.

“Does anybody know where Rey is? She’s been missing all through meditation and I have looked everywhere for her”

“Have you checked the barns? You know how much she loves the animals” master Zalif suggested.

“I have but she is nowhere to be seen” she responded with an air of exasperation.

“I don’t know why we keep her on here. She’s more trouble than she’s worth if you ask me” master Xilaren shot back. “ she climbs a tree and tears her robes and will ask me to loan her the thread to repair it! A few times I have heard her singing in the meditation rooms when she thinks nobody is around, but don’t worry luke I quickly put a stop to it.” The other masters were shaking their heads, while there was no rule against singing in the temple, as it was a sacred place it was considered to be disrespectful.

“She is always late for everything master Luke, except for meal times that is,” Zalif said in agreement, although appeared to be embarrassed to have to agree, eliciting a chuckle from her peers. Xilaren, despite the interruption, continued, “master Luke I know you are attached to her as you found her on that wasteland, and I don’t like to say it, but I don’t believe that she is fit to continue her training here.”

“If I may speak on her behalf” Asoka interjected, “Rey is a kind, intelligent girl who is hardworking and wants desperately to be here. She has never once given us any reason to doubt her loyalty to the order, and besides, she makes me laugh.”

At that moment the noise of a door slamming tore their attention away from each other towards the balcony across from them where they saw Rey running across, seemingly unaware of their presence. Rey slammed the door on the other side leaving the masters in stunned silence.

“Asoka, you couldn’t be more right,” Luke said, “she is still a girl.” Luke turned and walked away from the group, muttering under his breath “how do you solve a problem like Rey.”


	2. I have confidence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter two!!!!
> 
> so i was going to post this yesterday, but it was my parents anniversary so they wanted to go out for a walk and the day ended up escaping me and before i knew it, it was ten in the evening and was waaaaay to tired to make any edits. any way new chapter is up and any constructive criticism would be much appreciated.

It was early evening when Rey had been summoned to Master Luke’s office in the lower levels of the temple. Rey never liked going down there, it always felt too dark and her being there usually meant that she had (unintentionally) done something wrong and was sent to Master Tano. Today, however, she was to face Master Luke, which meant that she had either done something good, or something very, very bad. As Rey sat outside the door she went through all the reasons why she would have been called to him and decided to begin coming up with an apology for missing afternoon meditation.

“Master Luke is ready for you now,” master Zalif said as she beckoned inside the office. Rey walked in and sat down at his desk as she heard the door shut, leaving the two of them alone. It was a small room with very little decoration other than shelves with a few Jedi texts and a medal he had been awarded many years ago after his assistance in the destruction of the first death star. Rey knew of his achievements in the first galactic war, and that knowledge made his desire to speak with her alone all the more intimidating.  
“I’m so sorry Master Luke,” Rey said before the old man could speak, “I know I should have been in afternoon meditation, but I couldn’t help myself. It's such a beautiful day and I felt the force calling me onto the mountains like it wanted me to be up there, and before I knew it I had thrown all caution to the wind and was up there dancing and singing. Oh, Master Luke, l was singing! I’m so sorry, I know I shouldn’t but I …”

Master Luke had raised his hand abruptly ending her ramblings, allowing himself the opportunity to speak. “Rey, there is no rule against singing outside of the temple, although it does raise questions as to why you left specifically during afternoon meditation, rather than your own time in the evening,” Rey, upon his observation suddenly felt the urge to look down at her feet rather than up at his eyes. “but,” he continued, “that does lead into why I called you down here today. Now I know that you have a habit of getting into trouble, which has caused some of the masters to question your dedication to your Jedi path.”

“Of course, I am dedicated!”

“I know that which is why I have decided to temporarily send you away”

As he said that Rey felt her whole world shatter around her. Send her away? They couldn’t, she had dedicated herself to following the Jedi path since she was nineteen, she couldn't stop now. In a moment of pure desperation, she wanted to beg on her hands and knees for Luke to let her stay. But she didn't, instead, she sat there with tears clouding her vision as she asked one question.

“Are you sending me back to Jakku?” it was almost childlike, her voice.

“Oh no, no, no, you're not going back to that place” Luke responded, as she felt a wave of relief flood over her, “you're not going far, just to the lake country. My nephew, captain Ben Solo contacted me recently requesting a governess for his seven children”

“Seven!” Rey said in shock.

“I thought you liked children. The younglings are very fond of you”

“I do, but seven?”

“Yes I thought that myself,” Luke grumbled, “he's been having a hard time finding a suitable governess ever since his wife died three years ago, and he refuses to hire a nanny droid after one of them found a way to disable it. The previous one left on short notice and he contacted me to see if maybe one of my students would be suited to help.” Rey felt an understanding between her and those children as she had been abandoned on Jakku by her parents when she was five and could sympathize with their longing for someone who was never coming back.

“How long will I be gone?”

“Just for the summer”

_‘Just the summer’_ Rey thought to herself. That wasn't long at all. “I'll do it master luke,” she said more confidently than she felt. Luke got up and guided her towards the door as he told her that she would be leaving within the week.

As she stood alone in the hallway outside the office she said to herself, “it's just for the summer. It's not like I have to marry him.”

* * *

  
It hadn’t taken Rey long to pack her thing; she only had her staff and some clothes to take with her. As she stood outside the doors of the temple she remembered a saying she heard a traveller use back on Jakku, _‘when the gods close a door, somewhere they open a window’_. While a door had been closed on her Jedi path, for the time being, she had a new opportunity where she could experience a semblance of freedom that she never had before. While part of her felt as if she was being thrown out of the temple and the only real home she ever knew, she was certain that when she returned she would be able to prove herself as a future Jedi knight.

As she boarded the speeder she felt a sudden shift in the force as if it was telling her that this was the right decision, going and helping those children. With newfound confidence she drove off into the hills away from the temple she thought to herself’ let them bring on all their problems, it's nothing I can't face, there's nothing that can scare me now. This is one of life's great adventures, something I have dreamed of since I was a little girl. Sure, not quite as heroic as I imagined but an adventure nonetheless.’

After an hour the speeder came over the hill and she could see the lake county, with all its villas and winding streets. It was a beauty she had never seen before, while she had lived on Naboo for the last six years she had never really ventured further than the secluded temple, so seeing civilization was an unexpected treat for Rey. As she approached the villa she suddenly felt her confidence waver, legs shaking as she stepped out of the speeder. _‘No I can do this’_ she thought to herself _‘i can do this. I can do this. I can do this! I can do this!’_ she chanted over and over, her legs picking up speed as she broke into a sprint as she headed down the hill from the speeder park to the villa. She halted, however, upon reaching the gates of the grand building, staring imposingly down on her.

“Oh help,” she said to herself. She pushed through the gates, gripping her bag so tightly her knuckles had begun to turn white. _‘No, don’t stop now Rey, you've come this far. Come on, I can do this, I can do this. I can do this!’_ she thought as she began to run again up to the front entrance, regaining her confidence. As the door opened she was greeted by a handsome man in a formal suit.

“Hello, captain. I'm Rey the new governess” she said, still riding high on her self-motivation as she shook his hand.

“And I'm Finn, the butler,” the man replied calmly as he corrected her now obvious mistake. ‘ _Of course, he isn't the captain. He looks nothing like luke's nephew’_ she thought as she turned crimson.

“I will let the captain know you're here. You can wait down on the landing if you like”. He guided her through the door into the landing. Rey was immediately taken aback by the room around her, the landing had staircases on either side of the main entrance and a lower level that lead to the gardens and other adjacent rooms. Above her was a chandelier made of glass and other types of rare gemstones.

As she took it all in she found that Finn had disappeared to find his master, leaving her alone to explore. As she looked around she saw the door to one room had been left slightly open, so, deciding that it wouldn't hurt to explore, she went in.

In there she was greeted by a grand ballroom, covered in gold accents and decorations along the walls and ceiling. Despite the dark, she could imagine how the room would glitter at night when filled with guests in their fine robes and dresses. She imagined how the music would swell as the evening went on, with lovers dancing the night away, completely lost in each other's eyes. She then began to imagine that she was at this ball and a handsome stranger had approached her requesting a dance. She coyly accepted the invisible stranger's request, nodding her head and dipping low into an exaggerated bow.

It was at that moment that the double doors flew open, flooding the room with light. Rey snapped up from her bow and turned around to see the tall silhouette of a man staring right at her.

It was the captain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter, these two finally interact and we get to see the children


	3. The Captain

The captain wasn't at all what she expected. He was tall and had black shoulder-length hair that curled slightly at the bottom. Even in the dark, she could see that he was handsome and young. Too young for an accomplished captain and father of seven children, she couldn't stop staring. There was magnetic about him, that had Rey reluctant to tear her gaze away from him. They both stood their ground in silence for what felt like an eternity before he spoke up.

“I assume that you're the new governess for the children?” he said in a rich timbre that echoed through the empty room.

  
“Yes sir,” she said trying not to let her voice crack with fear. They once again stood in awkward silence, with the only noise Rey could hear was her rapid breathing.

“I assume that you have a name?” he said, once again breaking the awkward tension in the room.

“Oh, yes! Rey, sir. My name is Rey.”

“Very well Rey. If your partner wouldn't mind I will introduce you to my children” he said with a smirk. It took Rey a moment to realize that he was referring to the invisible partner she was dancing with a moment ago, causing her to blush profusely.

“Now there are a few things you should know,” he said as they stepped out of the ballroom, “I don't want my children to be coddled by you, in this house, we value discipline and structure. If you ever want to see one of them, you will blow this whistle and they will come, I won't have you shouting at them; this is a big house and with seven of them it will get very loud very quickly. I will demonstrate and you shall learn their signals.”

The whistle he handed her was one that was typically used in Naboo's navy and had become part of the tradition, despite how old fashioned it was. As she weighed it in her hand she heard a series of short sharp calls screeching in her ear as children began to appear from the rooms above and stand in line. The whistling continued as they lined up and began to march down the stairs in perfect unison, before standing in line in front of Rey and the captain. She stood there stunned by what she had just witnessed; even having grown up without any parents or parental figures, Rey knew that this was an unusual form of parenting.

Once in line, the whistle screamed again prompting each of the children to march forward and introduce themselves. Rey knew that she wasn't going to use the whistle he had given to her so she focused especially hard on trying to remember their names. Once all the children had stepped forward, Rey's eardrums finally got some respite.

“Children, this is Rey, your new governess. Now, you have heard the children's signals, I will teach you yours that I will use to call for you, should the occasion arise” he said before Rey stopped him from blowing that whistle one more time.

“Oh no, sir, I'm sorry but I could never answer a whistle. They're used for farmers to herd their animals but not for children and not for me. It would be too humiliating,” Rey said. Back on Jakku, the man she worked for, Plutt, had used her no better than one would use a beast of burden, paying her in portions rather than money. To Rey, having to answer to a whistle felt like she was being used as an animal once again, rather than being treated as a person.

“Were you this much trouble at the temple?” he asked, clearly not used to his orders being challenged.

“Oh, much more sir” Rey replied, taking a modicum of joy from getting under his skin. He only hummed as he turned to leave when Rey put her whistle to her lips and blew as hard as she could, stopping him in his tracks.

“I'm sorry sir, but seeing as you are so insistent on using this damned thing, I don't know what your signal is,” Rey said as innocently as she could, noticing how some of the children were smiling at her defiance.

“You may call me, Captain,” he said over his shoulder as he walked away.

* * *

Ben shouldn't have been surprised by who his uncle had sent. Of course, he would send someone no better than a defiant child to him. First, he had watched her playing pretend in the ballroom, interrupting her before she could embarrass herself and then she had openly defied him in front of his children.

But despite her unorthodox behaviour, she was surprisingly young for a governess. He was rather taken aback by her youthful looks and attractive face. It was her freckles that he noticed the most, and her eyes that stared at him with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension. But despite her appearance, he wouldn’t let it cloud the fact that she was defiant and was going to be a handful.

He knew it was a risk reaching out to his uncle, but the children's grasp on the force was strengthening and was becoming difficult to control. Ben himself had never been formally trained beyond learning how to control it, which being an only child had worked for the most part, but with seven children who couldn't behave to save their lives, he had felt that having someone who isn't force-sensitive was becoming impractical. As he stormed into his office he was greeted by his butler Finn and his housekeeper Rose.

“We just received a comm sir to inform you that you will be receiving a letter later on today from the queen,” Finn said cautiously, knowing that Ben was already in a bad mood.

“Very well,” he said ignoring the two as he sat down at his desk. While it was old fashioned, using letters was standard protocol when sending top-secret messages within the army as it was more secure than a comm as spies wouldn't think to check for a literal paper trail.

“If I may sir,” Rose said, stepping forward, “why have you been receiving so many letters recently from the queen?”

“She wants me to rejoin the navy”

“But you retired after your wife died,” Finn said.

“Yes, but queen Vera has been angling to strengthen the army ever since the First Order began to flex its muscles. She thinks that having the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo rejoin at her behest will help to quell the growing imperial sympathies,” Ben said nonchalantly. Of course, the other reason why she wanted him to rejoin was because of the clear statement it would make to the Supreme Leader if the grandson of Darth Vader allied himself with a staunchly republican queen. While he felt no love for the order, he didn’t want to be used as a political trophy, especially if his presence would put his crew at greater risk should there be fighting, and, no matter how harsh he was on his children, he couldn't put them through the pain of losing another parent.

Once his staff had left the room he sighed to himself. It appeared from the letters that the First Order was becoming a greater threat to Naboo than was publicly known and while he wanted to defend his planet he also didn’t want to take any unnecessary risks, especially as he was now a single father to seven children. It was then he decided that, depending on what was contained in the letter when it arrived later, he would go to Theed and speak with Vera in person.

* * *

Rey, now coming down from the high of getting under the captain's skin, was now alone with the children in the foyer feeling rather intimidated. After a moment's silence, she decided to try and get to know the children, without the marching.

“Now your father's gone, why don’t we get to know each other, without the whistle. Maybe tell me your names and how old you are,” Rey said to a wall of uniform.

A tall girl with thick black hair, braided into an intricate style stepped forward. “I’m Cassie, I’m sixteen and I don’t need a governess,” she said staring down Rey.

“We’ll just be good friends then,” Rey responded in an attempt to mollify the girl as she turned to the children beside her.

“I’m Alon, I’m fifteen and my grandma says I’m impossible,” he said with an air of pride at his grandmother's evaluation of his personality.

“I’m Jade, I’m thirteen and that is the ugliest dress I have ever seen.” At this Rey suddenly became very aware that the dress was not the most up to date in fashion. She hadn’t really wanted to wear a dress but master Xilaren had suggested she wear one to make a good impression. Fat lot of good that did.

“I’m Jacen, I’m eleven and Miss Sanya's dress was uglier.” Rey felt a cold comfort at the blond boy's words.

“I’m Elara, I’m eleven as well and my twin brother Jacen is an idiot.” She declared, earning a punch on the arm from her brother.

“I’m Anne and I’m six but I’m turning seven soon and for my birthday I want a pink dress with a flower on it.”

“I’m Mira, and I'm five,” she said in a barely audible whisper.

Once they had finished speaking and Rey felt like she had a better understanding of who they were she decided to come clean.

“Well now I know you a little better I think I should tell you that until now I was training at the Jedi temple,” she said as Cassie and Jade shared a look between each other.

“So you’ve never been a governess before,” Alon said with a glint in his eye, which made Rey slightly nervous.

“Nope!” Rey replied, “you’ll have to teach me.” As she said that the children slowly began walking toward her, like a pack of wolves would its prey.

“Never come to dinner on time!” One shouted.

“Always slurp your soup!”

“Ignore dad when he speaks! I do it all the time!”

And so they continued to bombard Rey with a slew of bad advice before Mira’s voice piped up. “Don’t listen to them Rey” she said sounding rather upset.

“And why’s that?” Rey said now surrounded and overwhelmed.

“Because I like you!”

At that moment a woman Rey hadn’t seen before came through the doors of one of the adjacent rooms and got the children to stop crowding her. She introduced herself as Rose, the Captains' housekeeper and led her up the stairs to show Rey to her room.

Rey picked up her bags and began to follow Rose up the stairs when she suddenly felt something move in her pocket. At first, she ignored it, thinking that one of the little ones was holding on to her, but as she climbed the stairs it continued to the point where she couldn’t ignore it any longer.

As she reached into her pocket she felt something cold and slimy move against her hand. Screaming, pulled her hand out as the creature jumped out onto the floor. As it jumped away she realized that while she was surrounded, one of the children had put a frog in her pocket.

“You should feel lucky,” Rose said almost apologetically, “with the last one it was a snake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading and remember constructive criticism is always appreciated


	4. thunder storms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! basically for this fic i have had to do alot of altering of cannon and so ive had to adjust some of the characters ages, which will be clear later. any way i hope you enjoy!

She was late. Rey was late for dinner.

She hadn't expected the day to get away from her so fast but by the time she was settled into her rooms, she was so exhausted that she collapsed onto her bed and dozed off. It was only by early evening when Finn had come and knocked on her door did she realize what had happened.

She was now hurriedly trying to fix her hair which had come undone in her sleep, as she ran down the stairs to the dining room. As she walked in she felt the eyes of the captain honing into her dishevelled appearance. She noticed that the children had changed out of their uniforms they were wearing earlier and were now in formal evening clothes for dinner, making Rey even more self-conscious about her frumpy dress that she hadn't changed out of and her slept-on hair.

“I'm glad you could finally join us,” he grumbled, gesturing to her seat at the other end of the table across from him.

“I'm very sorry captain,” she said sitting down, “the day just got away from me and- Ahaaaaa.” as she sat down on her seat she felt something sharp and hard underneath her, causing her to jump up, knock the table and for the captain's water, which was situated close to the ledge, to spill all over his lap. Rey looked down and saw a rather large pine cone that had been crushed by her sitting and had caused a small tear in the chair's fabric. She sheepishly looked up at the captain where she could feel waves of rage rolling off of him in the force.

“Is that how all Jedi sit down for dinner?” he asked contemptuously, “or is that just you?”

“Just me sir,” she said, feeling humiliated.

Tucking into dinner Rey silently thanked Luke for giving her a crash course in table manners. At the time she asked him why she would need to know what fork to use and how to hold a knife correctly, to which he responded, _‘Because it's Ben’_. she also remembered something else he had said, _‘never say anything that could start an argument at dinner. If you have a problem with someone and you want to bring it up, do what my sister does and make a veiled comment so that you're guaranteed to have the last word.’_

 _‘But master skywalker, why would I need to know that?’_ she asked, surprised as to how getting the last word in an argument was a necessity of table manners.

 _‘Trust me, kid, you will.’_ was all he had said before they moved on. But after the frog in her pocket (which she was willing to overlook) and the pine cone, she realized that if she was going to be responsible for these children, they were going to have to learn to respect her, and how could you respect anyone you can so easily humiliate.

“I wanted to thank you all for that little gift you gave me earlier.” she began, choosing her words carefully. “I have to say, it was very thoughtful of you all, seeing as I am new, it just made me feel all the more welcome. You see, aside from the temple, the only other place I have ever lived was alone on Jakku, with no one but myself to trust as I scavenged fallen star destroyers in exchange for portions as other scavengers would kill me for even a piece of an engine. So you see, gifts are not really something I am used to, which makes yours all the more special, making me feel so welcome here.” it was a low blow and Rey knew it. Bringing up her childhood.

“Oh, what gift was this” the captain asked, suspiciously.

“Oh that’s just between me and the children,” Rey said innocently. She knew that she wanted to make them realize how hurt she was but she also knew that she didn’t want to get them In trouble with their father.

After a moment of silence, Rey heard a series of sniffs come from the other end of the table. Looking up she noticed that Elara had stopped eating her food.

“Elara what’s the matter,” her father asked.

“Nothing,” she said with glassy eyes, continuing to sniff.

_Sniff_

“Oh, Anne, not you too,” he said, becoming exasperated. Soon the table fell into a cacophony of sniffs and whimpers from the children. “Rey, would you care to tell me why all my children are crying.”

“Oh they’re not crying captain, they’re just happy,” she said innocently as the table burst into a round of loud sobs. Part of her felt bad for doing this but she also knew that she needed them to understand that there was a person on the receiving end of their cruel jokes. Hopefully, with this, they would have learnt their lesson.

* * *

Being a father of seven, Ben was used to a little chaos at dinner, but Rey was like a walking hurricane. First, she arrives late to dinner looking all dishevelled, then she jumps out of her seat causing his water to spill onto his lap (making it look like he had had a rather unfortunate accident), and next she has said something that made all his children cry. Thankfully by the time dessert rolled around, everything was relatively calm.

As they ate their chocolate cake he noticed how Rey was trying desperately hard not to wolf it down. Hell, he barely had to reach out with the force to feel her restraint. As he looked at her he could see that she had a bit in the corner of her lip that she hadn’t noticed.

“Ah, Rey,” he grumbled, getting her attention, “you’ve got a bit of cake….” gesturing to his own lips. As her pink tongue peeked out between her rosy lips to lick away the cake, he felt his stomach do a turn.

‘Indigestion’ he thought to himself. However, his indigestion was made worse when she smiled in gratitude. Before he could give up entirely on the food before him he heard the door behind him open and Finn's footsteps behind him.

“Sir you have a letter,” he said, holding it out for the captain to take.

 _‘Dear captain solo’ the letter began, ‘we both know why I am contacting you so we might as well cut to the chase. Public opinion is turning very much in favour of unification with the first order and my spies tell me that many of those in my court have contacts within the order. I am asking you this, I see now that you're rejoining the navy’s out of the question, but I am asking you to come out in some sort of show of support for me. I know how much you hate the order and the grandson of Padmé Amidala may help to swing public opinion in our favour.’_ As he finished reading the letter he knew one thing, he needed to speak to the queen in person.

“I’ll be going to Theed tomorrow morning.” He stated

“Not again!” They all cried out in exasperation. While it was true that he had been leaving to visit Bazine in Theed a lot recently it wasn’t enough for that reaction.

“I’ll be bringing back Bazine to meet you all this time.” He said to a wall of stony silence. “And uncle Poe.” That got them all to smile. He had been planning on bringing Bazine back to meet the children the next time he saw her and while he hadn’t discussed anything with Poe, the possibility of an all-expense paid for holiday in the lake country should bring him round.

“Dad,” Cassie said with trepidation, “can I be excused?”

“Yes, of course”

As Cassie slipped away he noticed Alon and Jade looking at each other giggling as if they were in on some joke. He decided to ignore it though, best not take a deep dive into the inner workings of a teenager's mind just to understand a joke.

* * *

He was right where she always met him, on a hidden bench behind the rhododendron under a willow tree that was surrounded by begonias, yellow carnations and lilacs, overlooking the lake. She always met him here because it was secluded and quiet so they couldn’t be interrupted. She paused a moment to just look at him in the twilight as the golden sun illuminated his features.

“You made it!” He said standing up.

“Armitage!” She said as she ran over to embrace him. Wrapping her arms around his neck he picked her up and spun her around, making her shriek with joy.

“I was getting worried that your father wasn't going to let you leave.”

“He always mellows up after dessert,” she replied before a wave of sadness came over her, “I wish we didn’t have to wait until my dad gets a letter for us to see each other.”

“I…..could….. say I’ve gone to the wrong address. Captain Phasma's here from Coruscant….. I shouldn’t be telling you this, no one knows. You have to keep this a secret.” Cassie was becoming confused by his growing agitation after letting something so seemingly insignificant slip.

“Of course, your secrets are safe with me” she reassured him, “can I ask why it’s so important I keep this a secret at least.”She knew she was pushing her luck by asking him this but it was worth a go.

“No,” he said sternly, “you're too young.”

“Too young! I’m sixteen!” She replied.

“Exactly you’re just a baby.”

“Of course!” She said sarcastically, “who am I to doubt the judgment of a wise old man at the grand, mature age of seventeen.”

Armitage rolled his eyes in response, causing Cassie to give him a shove that was a little more powerful than intended, and knocked him onto the ground taking Cassie with him. Laughing, Cassie tried to get up from off his chest but found that she was being held on tightly by Armitage.

“You trust me, don't you?” he said breathlessly as he rolled her over onto her back.

“Yes,” she said as her heart raced.

After a long moment of staring at her face, he finally moved, pressing his lips to hers, taking her by surprise, but not in an unpleasant way. As he broke away, the storm clouds overhead finally opened up releasing a torrent of rain, soaking them to the bone.

Cassie couldn't have cared less.

* * *

The storm was really raging now. Rey had just put on her nightclothes when she heard a loud clap of thunder. It was a good-sized room with a large bed and more creature comforts than she was used to. The fresher had full running showers and a large tub to soak in. The cabinets had large varieties of creams and cosmetics, of which their uses were beyond Rey. After another clap of thunder, she saw Rose enter.

“I just wanted to let you know that the clothes you chose earlier have been ordered and they’ll be here in about a week.” She said, “is there anything else you need?”

“Oh yes, would it be ok if I got some fabrics? I’m thinking of making the children some play clothes; it’s sort of a gift from me.” Rey said hopefully. She had made all her clothes when she lived on Jakku and at the temple, she was the person everyone went to when they had grown out of their robes.

“Solo children don’t play. They march, study and torture unsuspecting governesses.” She said in exasperation.

“But why?”

“Because after Mrs. Solo died the captain was heartbroken and racked with guilt. He couldn’t face anything that reminded him of her. Even the children.” she said sadly as Rey pondered what she meant by guilt, but decided not to press it “although he has found a distraction in Miss Netal from his grief. I know I shouldn’t be telling you this but between you and me I think he is seriously considering marrying her”

“Oh that’s wonderful, the children will have a mother again,” Rey said enthusiastically. When Rose only hummed in response she began to think that her excitement for the prospect of the children’s new mother may have been misplaced.

Before leaving Rose told Rey that she would be getting new curtains for her room, despite her protests that they were fine. After she was left alone Rey considered meditating but decided that the thunder was too loud and she was too tired.

Just as Rey was climbing under the covers she heard a noise at her window and the shutters opened, revealing a soaking wet Cassie climbing through.

“I take it you enjoyed your walk” Rey quipped, breaking the silence.

“The servants locked the doors earlier than usual, and I saw your window and knew I could climb up and get in. I'm sorry,” she said sheepishly.

“Apology accepted. And don’t worry, I won’t ask what you were doing out so late” she said after feeling a wave of anxiety from Cassie.

As Rey got up to close the window she looked down to see a straight drop from her window to the ground beneath, with the exception of some vines climbing the side of the wall.

“How did you get up here!” Rey said amazed.

“Oh it’s easy, we all can do it. Alon got up here once with a bag of dead mice” she responded casually.

“I don’t get how such sweet children can play such horrible jokes,” Rey said horrified.

“How else would we get our dad's attention?” Cassie responded sadly.

After giving Cassie some spare pyjamas to get changed into, Rey began to wonder if any of her predecessors had taken the time to actually get to know the children. As she was thinking that there was a sudden clap of thunder making Rey jump out of her skin; and a few moments later she saw three figures scurry into her room. After another loud clap of thunder Mira, Anne and Elana ran over and joined Rey in bed, clinging on to her in fear.

After wrapping her arms around them and holding them in a protective squeeze, there was another clap of thunder. As the girls looked up at her she saw that Mira had begun to cry.

“I'm scared,” Anne said, wrapping her arms around Rey's neck; feeling waves of embarrassment from the admission.

“There’s nothing wrong with being frightened. In fact, I’m sure the others are as well,” she said reassuringly.

“No, they're not! They're not afraid of anything!” Mira declared through tears. At that moment another clap of thunder ripped through the room, prompting three more terrified faces to scurry into the room.

“Everyone in bed!” Rey declared as Alon, Jade and Jacen crawled under the covers at the foot of the bed, with Cassie emerging to join them. Once everyone was in bed she realized that she needed to find a way to make them less terrified, when she remembered what she would do in a sand storm on Jakku.

“Next time you hear the thunder I want you all to laugh. Think of jokes you can tell in between each clap. On Jakku sometimes there would be thunder during sand storms, so every time I heard a clap I would decide that it was funny, and laugh rather than be frightened.” she explained to some rather baffled faces. On the next clap of thunder, Rey began laughing. She was alone at first but then some of the others joined in; mostly laughing at Rey rather than with her.

“Jokes, someone think of a Joke!” Rey said.

“Uuuuhhh, oh! How does a man get around on Endor?” Alon said.

“I don't know,” Rey responded.

“Ewoks!”

At that, a huge laugh erupted from the group just as another clap of thunder was heard. This time though, everyone let out an enormous laugh and soon all the laughter was genuine, with everyone finding the noise amusing rather than frightening.

“Where did uncle luke get his bionic had?”

“Where?”

“The second-hand store!”

As laughter erupted once more in a room formerly filled with terror, Rey almost didn't notice the imposing figure standing at the door. When she looked up she saw the captain standing there glaring down at her as the laughter died down, the mood shifting to fear once again. Quickly the children got out of the bed and lined up just as they did earlier.

“What is going on here,” he snapped, “and you!” he pointed at Cassie, “I didn't see you at all after dinner, what the hell were you doing? I checked your room and you weren't there. Do you have any idea how worried I was!” By now he was practically shouting, but Rey was able to sense a real fear behind his words that almost made her pity him.

Before Cassie could answer Rey spoke up in her defence, “she was here talking with me. We got off on the wrong foot earlier and we decided that the best thing was to talk it through.” Rey said calmly.

“Really?” he said, clearly not convinced, “then can I also ask why there was such a flagrant disregard for the rules when you know that I want my children in bed by a certain time?”

“They were frightened sir, and I know what it's like to be frightened and alone as a child in a thunderstorm. I wouldn't wish it on anybody.” she quipped.

After he had sent them to their rooms, Rey and the captain stood there glaring at each other, before he turned around and marched out of the room, leaving her standing there on her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, i had a lot of fun writing it and shout out to anyone who is familiar with Victorian flower language that i used in the scene between Cassie and Hux.
> 
> constructive criticism is always appreciated.


	5. the sound of music

Rey was many things, a Jedi, a scavenger, a governess, but conventional was not one of them. From the moment the captain left for Theed she began to work on the children’s clothes after stealing the old curtains from her room.

Soon Rey began to realize as the days passed that the children were growing bored being shut away in the house on the captain's instruction. So when she presented the children with their new clothes they all decided that the best thing to do with them would be to all go out.

“But didn’t your father say he didn’t want you leaving while he was away?” Rey asked. The captain had been quite adamant that they were not to leave the house while he was away.

“Dad's just being paranoid,” Jade responded, with a twinge of sadness escaping her voice. Before Rey could ask why she was upset, Cassie told everyone to get changed so they could leave.

Once they had all gone to their rooms Finn came up to her with concern written all across his face, “I don’t think you should do this,” he said, “the captain made it very clear that he doesn’t want them leaving until he gets back.”

“Finn, this house has seven force-sensitive children who are bored out of their minds. When this happens at the temple, something either gets broken or someone gets hurt, and I think the captain will be even less happy about that than an outing into the town.” Despite her reassurances, she could still feel immense unease from Finn.

Once they had finally decided where they wanted to go, Rey packed a picnic and they all set off to the waterfalls. As they headed out Rey got to finally appreciate the beauty of the Lake Country, with its rolling green hills and shimmering waters. The excitement of the children was infectious (and not just because they were projecting in the force); they were thrilled to finally be leaving the villa and breaking one of their fathers many, many rules about what they could and could not do.

Once they had arrived at their destination they immediately began to run around, inviting Rey into a game of tag. For the first time since arriving she saw them fully relaxed and happy.

I should take them out more often. She thought as she was being chased by Mira who was ‘it’.

“Can we do this every day?” Anne asked as they settled down for lunch.

“Don’t you think you would get tired of it if we did this every day,” Rey responded.

“Not if you come with us!” Anne cheerfully declared, making Rey feel overjoyed.

After a moment of thought, Rey had an idea on how she could put their time together to good use. “You are all force sensitive right?” She asked as they all nodded their heads, “have any of you been trained properly?” They all shook their heads.

“Dad doesn’t want us to train beyond how to control it so we don’t get angry and send a vase flying at someone’s head.” Cassie said “we don’t even know what channelling it is. We hear uncle Luke talk about it on the occasions when he, grandma and grandpa are over, but dad refuses to let us learn.” As Cassie told her Rey had an idea.

“Do any of you sing?” she asked, to some now very confused faces, prompting her to elaborate. “When I was growing up on Jakku I had to scavenge fallen star destroyers, something that was incredibly dangerous, especially when I had to climb up almost flat surfaces with very few places to grip on to. On my more dangerous climbs, I would sing to myself. At the time I thought that it helped me to focus but looking back now I realize that I was also channelling the force to help guide me up and down safely.” As she explained she could see them coming to the same conclusion.

“Let’s try it now!” Elara said.

“Okay, do you know any songs you can try with?” Rey asked as they all began to look at each other as if silently confirming their choice of song as they began to sing.

_Mirrorbright, shines the moon, its glow as soft as an ember_   
_When the moon is mirrorbright, take this time to remember_   
_Those you have loved but are gone_   
_Those who kept you so safe and warm_   
_The mirrorbright moon lets you see_   
_Those who have ceased to be_   
_Mirrorbright shines the moon, as fires die to their embers_   
_Those you loved are with you still—_   
_The moon will help you remember_

As they finished, singing Rey could feel the force surging around them like a tidal wave as the children sat there in shock. Soon everything began to settle back down and they all silently began eating again pretending nothing had happened. While Rey could feel excitement rolling off of the younger ones, she felt anxiety from Cassie, Alon and Jade.

“Why doesn’t your fa-”

“We should go to the market tomorrow, buy Bazine a welcome gift for when she gets here,” Cassie said, interrupting Rey’s question as if she didn’t want to answer it.

“All right, that’s tomorrow’s plan,” Rey said, deciding to ignore the interruption.

* * *

As the days continued, they would go on more and more outings around the lake country. Rey finally went to her first outdoor market (Niima outpost didn’t count) and the girls all convinced Rey to buy her first dress (one that didn’t look like an imperial relic). It was a long pink dress made out of a soft floaty material with an exposed shoulder and neckline.

“But why do I need it?” Rey asked after she had been shoved into the changing room of the shop they were in.

“Because sometimes it’s nice to have pretty things just for the sake of having it,” Cassie said handing her the dress, “we were talking to dad last night and he’s going to be back sometime soon and apparently Bazine likes a good party, so you’ll need a dress if dad throws her one.”

Rey was tempted. Most of her clothes were practical and she never owned anything that didn’t serve a practical purpose in her life. While part of her told her that it was too indulgent, another part told her that maybe once she could throw practicality to the wind and buy it. The indulgent part of her won out.

As they left the store they were confronted by the faces of two thoroughly bored looking boys, “are you finally done?” Jacen asked.

“Yes. Did you get the present?” Cassie responded.

“No we’re complete idiots, yes of course we got the present. Honestly, why do women like spas anyway?” Alon complained.

As they walked through the market with sellers advertising their fresh produce and varieties of food Rey felt a sudden stab of hunger in her stomach. Hunger wasn’t something entirely alien to her, as it was her only companion on Jakku sometimes. As they continued to walk through the market she saw a little tent in the corner selling ice cream.

“You know I’ve never had ice cream before,” she said impishly. Almost before the words had left her mouth they all ran up to the vendor and they began to choose what they wanted.

Once they had finished with their bellies filled with ice cream Mira, who Rey felt as if she had been holding something in all day, finally piped up.

“Can you teach us how to use the force?”

* * *

“So, Solo,” Poe Dameron said from the back of the speeder, “that cute butler still works for you?”

“Poe I won’t have you sleep your way through my staff if that’s what you're thinking” Ben responded dryly as Bazine giggled next to him.

“Aaah, you ruin all my fun,” he said jokingly before deciding to change the subject, “so how's the new nanny? What’s she like?”

As Poe asked a fairly innocent question Ben began to feel a sense of unease. Why should he? It was a perfectly reasonable question, especially in light of how many had left in a huff of rage at his children’s antics. In that regard, Rey had become the longest standing one yet.

“Young” was all he said, growing more uncomfortable.

“Is she pretty?” Poe teased.

“I- a. Well- uhhh” he stammered before finally coming up with a coherent answer, “I guess, I’ve never really noticed.” He could feel Bazine's eyes bearing into the side of his head as he continued to drive looking pointedly ahead of him.

Once they finally arrived at the villa, they were greeted by the staff all lined up, but a clear absence of the children and Rey.

“Oh, where are the children?” Bazine asked looking around.

“Oh, they're around here somewhere. Causing trouble probably,” he smirked, hiding the feeling of dread growing within him, “would you like to see the garden,” he said as she placed her hand in the crook of his elbow.

Once they walked out into the fading light of the afternoon in the distance of the lake he could see the shape of a boat with eight figures on it. As he walked out to the port by the edge of the water the eight figures finally noticed him.

“Captain! Your home!” Rey exclaimed as she stood up, “oh and you must be Miss Natal, and you must be Poe Dameron! Just wait there and we’ll- aaaahhh!” she screamed as in her joy she managed to make the boat unstable, throwing them all into the water.

As he watched the children all swim back to him, he began to notice how Rey was still clinging on to the boat. She can't swim, he realized. He quickly took off his jacket and shoes and jumped into the water swimming out to grab her.

“Grab on to me.” He ordered once he reached the boat. In a panic, she wrapped her arms around his neck and he began to swim back with her clinging on for dear life. Once they reached the shore he wrapped his arm around her and lifted her up so she could sit on the edge of the dock.

Looking at his children, all soaking wet, he noticed something. What the hell are my children wearing? He thought to himself. Holding Alon’s shirt between his fingers, glancing at Rey in the hope that she'll offer an explanation.

“They're play clothes,” she offered. “I thought that it was a waste to throw out the curtains in my room, so I got the fabric and made them clothes.” as she said this Poe began to usher the children inside, anticipating an argument.

“You're telling me that my children have been running around the house wearing curtains?” he fumed.

“Yes, all over the town, and having a wonderful time,” Rey said definitely. When Ben heard that they had left the house while he was away, he felt something snap within him.

“You let the children out!” he roared, “there are rules for a reason and that is not up for you to decide whether or not you follow them!”

“It's a stupid rule anyway, not allowing the children out when your away. Seven force-sensitive children locked up all day! It's a recipe for disaster! Not that you would notice anyway.” she added on.

“What are you trying to suggest?”

“When was the last time you paid any attention to them! Look at Cassie, you're going to blink and find that she's a woman and you don't even know her anymore! Or Alon, he just wants to be a man like you but you're never around to show him. Or Jade, she puts up a hard exterior when really all she wants is you to take her seriously, not treat her as an infant! The twins I don't know... but the younger ones just want your love Captain! They just want you to love them,” Rey shouted.

“That is quite enough from you” he shouted, “I will not be lectured to about my own children”

“Well someones got to” she snapped back.

“I said that's enough!”

“Well, I'm not finished with you, Captain!”

“Oh yes you are, Captain!” as he realized his mistake he saw a smirk grow on her face, “Rey,” he corrected. He was about to dismiss her and tell her to go back to the temple when he felt a sudden shift in the force. It felt as if everything was calm for a moment when he heard a familiar opening line.

_Mirrorbright, shines the moon, its glow as soft as an ember_

“What is that?” he asked, his voice unusually soft.

“It's the force” she explained, her eyes softening “singing always helped me to channel it and the children all have wonderful voices, so we decided to give Bazine a little show as they learn to master their powers,” as she explained he felt suddenly at ease, even though hearing that she was training his children in the force should have angered him.

They walked back inside to the small drawing-room just off of the doors leading to the garden. When they got in he saw them all lined up singing as Bazine and Poe sat on some chairs provided for them. As he walked further into the room he felt the force dance around him like a warm summer breeze. Impulsive he began to sing with them, quietly of course but it didn't escape their notice, as they sang together as a family feeling the force drift around them, he felt a kind of happiness that he had not felt since before his wife died. He suddenly felt like a father again.

When they all finished the children immediately ran to him engulfing him in a massive hug. They were a family again thanks to Rey.

* * *

That evening Rey sat on her bed staring at the bag sitting on a chair next to the window. She hadn't looked at it once since she bought it. As she continued to stare at it she decided that it wouldn't hurt just to put it on, it wasn't as if anyone would see her in it and she might as well get her money’s worth out of it.

As she slipped off her nightclothes and put on the dress she felt something stir within her. Regret. As she looked in the mirror seeing herself in fine clothing she began to wonder about another life for herself.

A life where her parents came back.

A life where they cared for her and raised her.

A life where they loved her.

She almost didn't notice the knock on her door as she continued staring at herself, drowning in regret.

“Come in,” she said. As she turned around she was greeted by the tall figure of the captain staring down at her, only this time there was a softness to his eyes that wasn't seen the last time he was here. “I'm sorry about the dress, the children wanted me to get it a few days ago,” she felt her heartbeat quicken and her cheeks flush, “is there something you wanted to see me about?”

“Ahh, yes,” he said, clearing his throat, “I came here to apologize for how I behaved earlier” he began to step forward “you were right. I don't know my children, in my grief I became a stranger to them. I wasn't there when they needed me the most, you helped me realize that.” as he spoke she felt a wave of grief and regret through the force.

She was about to reach out to him when another presence entered the room.

“Oh Ben there you are, I've been looking all over for you,” Bazine said, “oh Rey, you look gorgeous, I must ask you in the morning where you got that dress,” as she grabbed the captain's arm encouraging him to leave, she flashed Rey a smile, lacking any warmth.

“Good night, Rey,” he said as they began to leave.

“Good night Captain.”

“Please, call me Ben,” he said softly smiling.

“Alright, good night, Ben,” she said, as she watched him and Bazine leave.

That night she dreamt of a lake and strong arms wrapped tenderly around her waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey's dress 
> 
> https://images.app.goo.gl/pc4beZCCFvsRPs84A
> 
> thanks for reading! constructive criticism is always appreciated!


	6. the lonely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter!!!! i really enjoyed writing this one and i hope you guys do as well!

Inspiration came to Rey in the most unusual of circumstances.

Elara and Alon were having an argument when one of Anne and Mira’s dolls went flying at Alon’s head. After stepping in and settling everything between the two, Rey had an idea about how to help teach the children to control the force; a puppet show and instead of having puppets on strings, the children would use the force to control them.

Since she got permission from Ben (she still wasn’t used to calling him that) to teach the children how to use the force, she had been trying to come up with creative ways to teach them to help them hone their skills. After figuring it out she ran up to Ben and asked him if she would also be able to build a stage for the puppet show. She was thrilled when he said yes; she hadn’t been able to tinker or build anything since arriving, so she was looking forward to putting her hands to use.

Everyone had come down for a breakfast of eggs and toast with dried tomatoes on the side and nerf sausage when Poe spoke up.

“Hey kids, I’m going into the town to take Bazine to that spa trip you gave her. Why don't you come with us and you can spend the day with your uncle Poe? Let your dad have the day to himself to brood and Rey get on with that thing she’s building outside. What do you say?” Hey said as all of them began to furiously nod and said what can be understood as a yes (although their mouths were full so they could have said anything). The moment they finished they all ran to their rooms to get changed into their matching play clothes Rey noticed, grinning at the Captain smugly. Upon the captain seeing this he rolled his eyes and they waved them all goodbye.

Ben had also kindly given the rest of the staff the day off so it was just the two of them alone in the villa. Rey, who was already in her work clothes, turned to Ben and said, “my hammering won’t disturb your brooding too much I hope.”

As if suppressing another eye roll he turned to her and replied “I don't brood, and actually I was hoping that maybe I could help you with it, you know, get it done faster.” Rey was thrilled that somebody would want to help her so she gave him an enthused yes and they set off into the garden where she had all the bits of wood set out, ready and waiting for them to construct.

For the first few minutes, they worked mostly in silence, save for the odd “can you hold this” and “can you pass that nail”, until he spoke up:

“You know I could have bought a stage for them?” He said inquisitively.

“I know,” she said, “I wanted to make it. It would be more personal then.”

“You like making things for the children.” He stated. She nodded and they continued to work in relative silence.

“Cap— Ben,” she corrected, “can I ask you something,” he nodded, “well it’s two things really. Why didn’t you want the children to learn the force and why won’t you let them leave the house when you're away?”

As she asked him that he stopped working, taking a deep breath before opening his mouth to answer as if he needed to prepare himself.

“I’m sure you know this already but my grandfather was Darth Vader.” She nodded, “well growing up I had a very short fuse, I would get angry and break things, I would scream at people, I was not a pleasant person to be around. It felt like there was a growing darkness within me and it terrified me and I didn’t want to train with my uncle knowing full well about my family's capability to commit such acts of evil. And that fear extended to my children, especially after Rüya died,” After he finished explaining his fear to her he stopped again as if preparing himself to answer her next question. Rey would have told him that he didn’t have to answer it if she hadn’t felt his resolve to do so.

“When I was sixteen I joined the navy; partly because I wanted Luke to stop pestering me to train, and partly to live up to my family legacy.” He began, “I met Rüya when I was eighteen, and by the time we were nineteen she was pregnant. As time went on I rose through the ranks fairly quickly, partly due to ability and partly due to nepotism. Anyway, time went on, Alon followed shortly after, then Jade, then we adopted the twins, that’s why they have blond hair and blue eyes; force sensitivity is pure coincidence, then Anne and finally Mira. All this time as I was rising through the ranks of Naboo's navy, Rüya was left alone to raise our children. It was one of the things we argued about, why I was away so much. One night after the children had gone to bed, we were having another argument and it had gotten particularly bad, she wanted me to quit the navy and stay home full time, I didn’t want to. She walked out of the house and got in the speeder and left; she would do that if an argument got really bad. As she was driving something happened and she ended up being pushed off the road.” He paused for a moment and Rey could see tears in his eyes, “we all felt it the moment that she died. My children felt their mother die. It took three more days to find her body.” The tears were falling freely now. “If I hadn’t been so stubborn and just listened to her she would still be alive. I killed my wife.” The last part was barely a whisper. “That’s why I don't want them to leave if I’m away; I always want to know where they are to make sure they’re safe.”

Seeing his tears Rey got up and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him as he cried. As she held him, within the sadness she could feel relief as if he had been holding everything in for too long.

“In the days that followed” he continued, as he wiped away his tears, “I felt the first real call to the dark side, it was so much stronger than it had been previously and I couldn’t tell anyone. I was worried that if someone found out the children would be taken away from me, so I had to try and fight it. I had never felt so alone.”

“You couldn’t have known what was going to happen; you didn’t kill her,” Rey said, looking into his eyes “and you're not alone,”

“Neither are you.”

* * *

Once Ben had settled down, they got back to work on the stage. As they worked Rey told him stories about her time on Jakku, her parents leaving and eventually her leaving to join Luke at the temple. He listened so attentively, in a way no one had done before. In the temple, people would listen but after a while, she felt them begin to drift off, get bored or find the story too sad; with Ben, it seemed like no story was too boring or too sad. He would listen, he cared.

As they finished, hammering in the final nail into the stage, Rey looked out onto the water and saw that the sun had begun setting, casting the world under the golden hue of the evening. In the distance, she could see a couple on a boat sitting and enjoying the twilight. Slowly picking up the stage they brought it inside and placed it in the ballroom.

“I just got a comm from Poe,” Ben said, after setting the stage down and reaching into his pocket. “Bazine finished at the spa but ran into a friend so they’ll all stay out for a little longer. Not that the children seem to mind that is.”

“I guess it’s just us for dinner then,” Rey said, sounding more excited than she would have been.

“I guess it is,” he smirked.

After the staff came back they decided to eat their dinner out on the terrace. Rey had always loved watching the sun setting on Jakku, it was one of the few times that she felt at ease before the cold of night set in to replace the scorching day. As they ate dinner they talked more; about the shared people they knew at the temple (turns out that Ben is also of the belief that master Xilaren was born old) and about the children.

“If we weren’t friends this dinner and sunset would almost be romantic,” Ben joked as they finished up dessert. Rey laughed with him but felt a strange knot forming in her stomach.

Before she could analyze the feeling too closely she heard the front door opening and the sounds of children talking. They both got up to go to greet everyone, leaving the remains of their dessert out on the terrace. Once again Rey felt a knot in her stomach as she saw Ben go over to Bazine and greet her with a kiss, but once again she was distracted when the children rushed over to her asking if the stage was finished.

Once they were all in the ballroom to admire her and Ben's handy work she heard Bazine pipe up.

“Rey, you built this yourself? Looks like you're more than just a pretty face after all” she said.

“Well, Ben helped me,” Rey said, trying to ignore what may have been an insult or a poorly worded compliment. Rey preferred to think it was a poorly worded compliment, a mistake Rey had made many times before.

“Look at you mister handyman, finally putting all those muscles to good use. You’ll have to build me something as well.” Bazine said in a flirtatious manner.

Turning her attention away from Natal, she told the children that they could begin rehearsing for the show tomorrow but first needed to eat dinner and go to bed.

* * *

After two weeks of rehearsals for the force puppet show, they were ready to perform it. After managing to pick a story to tell with the puppets, they rehearsed day and night, fine-tuning their control of the force and their individual puppets.

As Ben, Bazine, Poe and all the staff gathered in the ballroom they began the show.

“A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away,” Rey began, as the curtain went up. As the children controlled the puppets she narrated a story of an orphaned girl forced to live with an evil stepmother who won’t allow her to go to the prince's ball, when she is given a dress and carriage by her fairy godmother. At the ball, she meets the prince and they dance the night away and fall in love, but not before the stroke of midnight when she has to leave before the spell is broken. With only a shoe to guide him, the prince goes off all over his kingdom in search of the mystery girl until the two find each other and live happily ever after.

Once they finished, they received a standing ovation from their enthralled audience.

“That was amazing kids,” Ben said as he went to give each of them a hug. Rey could feel the pride radiating off of him, a pride Rey also felt when looking at all the impressed faces of the staff.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen them this united,” Rose said to her as she walked up to her and Finn, “in the past if they all tried to work on something together it would end up descending into an argument. I’ve also never seen the Captain this relaxed.” Rose pointed out. As Rey looked in his direction and met his eyes she saw him mouth the words ‘well done’ at her from across the ballroom.

“You know darling,” Bazine said, making sure her voice could be heard above the chatter, “it’s such a shame to let a good ballroom like this one go to waste, and you've yet to deliver on that party you promised me,” she said innocently.

“Well I’d hate to break a promise,” he said, “alright we’ll have a party, invite everyone we know.”

“Rey, you can wear your dress!” Anne said, excited at the prospect of a party. Soon the girls began to talk about how they were going to do her up.

As Rey scanned the room she felt a strange sort of anticipation.

For the first time in years, there was going to be a party in the Solo house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know whats next. The Ball. ive had that chapter planned in my head for weeks so i cant wait to get it out soon.


	7. The Ball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter seven!!!!! I was so excited to write this chapter and boy its a long one (3K, i couldn't even write that much about my own life). I am really excited to show you guys this and i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!

The days leading up to the party had been pure chaos. The staff were furiously sending out invitations and Poe had not stopped asking if he could bring a plus one.

“Ben, you know how we've been friends for years?” Poe asked as they sat down at the table where Ben and Rey had dinner.

“Yes,” the captain responded suspiciously, pouring himself and Poe a lemonade.

“Well, I was just wondering if you would let me bring a plus one?”

“And who would this plus one be?”

“Your butler, Finn” Poe said, preparing for the Captain's anger. Instead, he just rolled his eyes and agreed.

 _‘Didn't I say something about not sleeping his way through my staff?’_ Ben thought to himself. In the end, he realized that it was pointless seeing as Poe had a way with people and just managed to attract anyone who breathed.

“You're taking this surprisingly well,” Poe said suspiciously.

“Well, Poe I've come to accept that there's something about you that makes everyone you meet fall hopelessly in love with you. I've wondered if there's something wrong with me because I'm the only one immune to your charms,”

“You've known me too many years, and for the longest time you had Rüya...” Poe began but stopped as he checked for Bazine, making sure she couldn't hear.

Ben could never talk to Bazine about his wife, she always hated it when someone mentioned her. That's why it was so nice to have Rey around. He could talk about Rüya to her and she would listen and he wouldn't feel a wave of jealousy from her. Ever since that day when they built the stage for the children, he felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders, being able to bare his soul to her in a way he hadn't with anyone else, not even Bazine. He was grateful for Bazine; not many women would want to get involved with a widower with seven children, but at the same time he felt as if he could tell Rey what he was feeling and she wouldn't judge him, but she would understand him.

His musings were cut short however when Rey came out to join him and Poe on the terrace. He gestured to the chair in front of him, pouring her a drink.

“Can I ask you both something,” Rey said, sitting down.

“Of course” Ben replied.

“Well I've never been to a party and I have no idea what to do,” she said sheepishly, “oh and thank you for the invitation,” she added, turning to Ben. After feeling Rey begin to worry that if she also went to the party she would be intruding, Ben had given her a handwritten invitation to put her mind at ease. “You're my guest,” he told her as he handed her the ornate paper with the invitation on it.

“It's no problem, I want you to be there,” Ben said, “and as for what you have to do, it's mostly just dancing, drinking and socializing, you’ll be fine.”

“I don’t know how to dance,” she said embarrassed.

“I’ll teach you” Poe offered, “I’ve heard that I am quite the skilled dancer,”

“What else have you heard about yourself, Poe?” Ben asked, causing Rey to giggle.

“A gentleman never tells” Poe replied with a twinkle in his eye and a wink at Rey, “now Rey, you want to get on with this dance lesson?”

They both stood up and walked off into the ballroom leaving Ben alone. He sat there looking at the red and white carnations in the glass vase when Bazine interrupted his thoughts.

“Oh Ben there you are,” she said sitting down, “now I was looking at the guest list and…..” as she began speaking, Ben's mind drifted. It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested, it was just that he already knew where the conversation would go. She would ask about the guest list and if it was necessary for Rüya’s mother to come, and he would say that it would crush the children if their grandmother wasn’t there. She would then question the point of inviting his uncle Luke if he was going to decline anyway, and then he would say that even if he didn’t get along very well with his uncle it would be rude to not invite him and he would never hear the end of it from his mother. Next, she would ask if Chewbacca could be kept off the list saying that she didn’t want ‘a walking carpet’ shedding everywhere, and he would tell her that if he didn't he would never hear the end of it from his father. It was a conversation they’d had before and will have again.

“Ben, are you listening,” she said, quickly snapping him out of his trance.

“Yes, yes.”

“Well what I was saying was would it really be appropriate to have Rey on the guest list, seeing as she’s your employee, wouldn’t it look a bit odd?”

“No, Poe’s taking Finn as his plus one, and most of the staff will be mingling as well. Why?”

“No reason,” she said as she got up and walked away, leaving Ben very confused.

* * *

The day of the party came and the house was a buzz. The staff were frantically getting everything ready, the children were running around in a blur of excitement and Rey was practicing her dancing in her room.

“Rey, we're here to get you ready,” Cassie said, knocking on the door. The girls had planned on coming and helping Rey get ready and truthfully, Rey was glad. She had no idea how to style her hair appropriately or what to do with the cosmetics in front of her so she appreciated the girls' offer to help.

“Rey you look like a princess in that dress,” Anne said running up to her.

Soon the girls got to work, brushing and pulling and powdering. Really it was just Cassie and Jade who were prepping Rey, the others just watched while Mira talked about how excited she was to go to her first party.

“You did go to one,” Elara said, “you were just too small to remember.”

“This is all very kind of you girls but I have to ask, why are you so excited to do this to me and not yourselves?” Rey asked.

“Well we want to look nice but it’s mostly just family and friends coming so it’s not like we’re trying to impress anyone. But with you, loads of people want to meet you.” Cassie said, shocking Rey.

“Why do they want to meet me?”

“You're the person who got the Solo children to behave and wasn’t afraid of dad or his rules. Who wouldn’t want to meet you?” Rey began blushing when the girls finally declared that they were finished.

She didn’t recognize the woman she saw in the mirror. The woman in the mirror looked glamorous, elegant like she always knew the right thing to say and never knew hardship in her life. That wasn’t Rey. But maybe it could be, just for an evening.

As Rey walked down the stairs to meet with the others who were standing in the foyer, her eyes met Bens and for a moment she couldn’t breathe. His hair was perfectly combed and he wore a black mid high collared shirt with buttons going down the middle. She realized that he was probably wearing his formal captain's uniform for the occasion, but as she stared at him from the middle of the staircase, she saw how his eyes had softened and his mouth hung open slightly. As she continued to make her way down the stairs she saw other heads turn and stare at her, making her feel slightly self-conscious.

“Rey you look incredible,” said a smartly dressed Poe Dameron, who had an arm wrapped around Finn.

“Yes wonderful,” said a smiling Bazine, in a slick black dress with a slanted top and slit up the side for a single leg to poke through.

“Dad what do you think,” Mira said excitedly.

“I think that she looks amazing,” he said, eyes never leaving her, before quickly adding, “well-done girls.”

Soon the guests started arriving and Rey managed to step away while Ben and Bazine bore the brunt of the greetings, although she was introduced to his parents who each gave her an approving look. Once the music began and everyone started dancing Rey stood in the garden just outside of the ballroom with the children, watching.

“They’re all so beautiful,” said Mira.

“Even the boys?” said Jacen.

“'Specially the boys,” Mira shot back grinning.

As the music picked up into a faster pace Cassie began to dance, pretending that she had a partner. Soon Alon tapped her shoulder and the two of them danced together laughing at each other's dance moves, which were slowly deteriorating from graceful to as comic as they could make it.

“Rey,” Jacen said, approaching her, “can you teach me how to dance?”

“Well I only learnt a few days ago with your uncle Poe, but I give it a try,” she said taking his hands and moving them into what she hoped were the right positions. As they began to move she tried to guide him, but it ended up being rather awkward, their movements. As Rey could feel the song coming to an end she saw the dark silhouette of the captain approach.

“May I have this next dance?” He asked Rey as Jacen stepped out of the way.

He moved his hands onto her waist and hand, holding her with a firm yet gentle grip. As he looked into her eyes the music began, setting a slow waltz for them to move to. She hadn’t realized just how graceful the captain was. Dancing with him was nothing like dancing with Poe. As Ben moved she felt herself forget who she was, she felt a happiness she didn’t know she could feel. Smiling at Ben, he smiled back, the pale moonlight lighting up his face, allowing her to see his big dark eyes gazing into hers. He then spun her out of his arms and then back into his body. With her back to his chest, she could feel her heart race, or was it his? She wondered.

Finally, he dipped her down just as the music came to an end. As he brought her back up she was breathing heavily, staring back up at him. Their faces were so close she felt his warm breath on her face, noticing how his pupils had blown wide, poor lighting she thought to herself. For a moment she forgot how to move until she heard Elara's voice.

“Rey, you’ve gone completely red,” she said innocently.

“I have?” Rey said stepping back, placing her hands on her cheeks, eyes not moving from Bens.

“Yes, you look…” Elara never got to finish the sentence as Rey ran off, into the ballroom.

* * *

Ben was left standing there, slightly in shock. Throughout the dance it was like time stood still and all that he saw were the freckles on Rey's cheeks and her slightly parted petal pink lips.

Not wanting to seem too stunned in front of his children, as the music changed he decided to offer Cassie a dance.

“Someone has to teach you to dance, and I would rather that it was me than some strange man,” he said as they began to dance to the lively, upbeat music.

So Ben danced and Cassie bruised his toes (what did he need them for anyway) as he told her embarrassing stories of when she was small. While he assumed that his poor feet were suffering as a result of her inexperience, he did wonder if his obligatory parental embarrassment played a role. As they danced Ben noticed a figure appear from The ballroom.

“Well is anyone going to greet your old grandmother?” As Ben turned around he came face to face with Zala, Rüya’s mother. He was quickly abandoned by Cassie as she joined her siblings in running up to her to say hello.

“Sorry I’m late dear,” she said as she went over to hug Ben, “I saw Bazine just now and I have to say she is quite the beauty,” he nodded in agreement, “and such a sweetheart too. I was just talking to her and she was so kind to me and understanding, she wasn’t upset by my presence in the slightest, which I would understand if she was.”

Now that surprised him, earlier Bazine was campaigning to get Zala’s name removed from the guest list.

“It broke my heart the day Rüya died, but after meeting Bazine I have to say that she will make a wonderful mother for the children, not that you need to be told. You looked head over heels when I saw you two dancing earlier…”

“Dancing?” He said taken aback.

“Yes of course. Out here. In the pink dress.” She said, surprised by his reaction. He was about to speak up and correct her when Jade did that for him.

“Oh! That’s Rey, our governess.” She said, “Bazine is the one in black, back in the ballroom.” At that moment, Bazine appeared next to him asking to be introduced to the elderly woman in front of him.

“Baz, this is Zala, my mother in law,” he said awkwardly.

To her credit, Zala didn’t mention the confusion and just said that it was nice to meet her. During the introduction, he could feel a sharp unease at the meeting but also a sense of victory at the same time.

 _‘Odd combination. I get the unease, but victory?_ ’ he thought to himself, but quickly brushed it off as the bell sounded, calling everyone to dinner.

* * *

Rey was completely humiliated as she ran off through the ballroom into the main foyer which was empty for the most part.

She stood there as she recounted the dance, the thrill of it. She kept trying to calm herself down, willing that blush to leave her cheeks. As she stood there she was approached by an old lady with dark hair and looked strikingly like Jade.

“Hello dear, I’m Zala, the children’s grandmother. I have to apologize for being so late, you see there was a problem with the speeder and we couldn’t get it running,” she said.

“Oh there’s no need to apologize,” she said, “and I’m…..”

“I know who you are dear,” she said reassuringly, “I saw you dancing. I must say Ben has chosen very well for himself,”

While Rey thought that was odd wording for the hiring of a governess, she chose to ignore it as they talked about the children, which they were both very fond of.

“Well I must get going and say hello to the rascals, but it was nice meeting you dear.”

As she walked away Rey felt as if the blush had finally escaped her cheeks. Deciding to go back to the ballroom and speak with Poe about when dinner was, she found herself lost in a flurry of people, all trying to reach drinks, food and dance partners. As she approached Poe she felt a slim hand grab her wrist. Turning around she saw the face of Bazine smiling back at her.

“Rey,” she said, “I didn’t get a chance to speak with you earlier and I have to say you look absolutely gorgeous in that dress. Quite the blushing virgin.” At those words Rey began to blush again as they began to walk back out into the empty foyer, “you really have been the bell of the ball haven't you? I mean poor Ben can barely keep his eyes off of you.”

“What?” She said, feeling embarrassed.

“Now Rey, we’re both women here. Let’s not pretend that we don’t know when a man notices us.” At those words Rey began to panic. Of course, she knew when a man noticed her; on Jakku it had kept her alive, but she had never become accustomed to any more innocent forms of attention that she was apparently being shown.

“I suppose he probably thinks himself in love with you,” at this Rey blanched, “oh don’t worry, he’ll get over it soon, he’s a man, they always tire of their little playthings, sooner or later.” And at that Rey was left standing there alone for what felt like an eternity,  
before she heard the bell signifying the start of dinner.

She made her way to the dining room on shaky legs, willing herself to stand up straight. It was impossible to enjoy dinner, every time she tried to swallow she felt her throat seize up, so she left her dinner untouched, much to the notice of Finn who she was seated beside and Be…no, not Ben, the captain she thought to herself, it all became too intimate the moment he asked her to call him Ben.

“Hey kid, you alright?” asked a deep voice. As she turned to see who was speaking she saw the face of Ben's… the captain's father, Han Solo.

“I'm fine thank you,” she said. Any other time she would be thrilled to be noticed by the legendary smuggler Han Solo, but at the moment being noticed at all was a nightmare.

Once dinner was finally over she noticed how late it was and gathered the twins, Anne and Mira (who were practically falling asleep in their food) and sent them to bed. After tucking them in she stood in the corridor outside their rooms and wondered about what she was to do. She had never intended for this to happen, never intended the captain to begin to feel anything other than friendly towards her, and to her own dismay, never intended to reciprocate those affections.

After a moment of solitude, she made her decision. Walking down to the captain's office she never once felt any doubt about what she was doing. Once she was in there she quickly located a paper and pen where she began to write. It was the same paper that he had written her invitation on.

After she sealed the letter she placed it next to a vase of purple hyacinths and forget-me-nots on his desk, before she walked out of the office unnoticed, where she headed up to her room and packed her things.

As she stood by the front door she looked down on the foyer, saying a silent goodbye as she left the Solo residence, forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bazine's dress:
> 
> https://images.app.goo.gl/sspqGcmFYFRo5Kgc9
> 
> also i hope you guys managed to catch some more of the victorian flower language, and if you didnt hers the wikipedia article that i used to help me.
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plant_symbolism


	8. The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update!!!!!! i know that i am updating this really quickly but i am having so much fun writing this and cant wait to get another chapter out!!! hope you enjoy!!!

_Dear captain Solo and the Solo children._

_You have all been nothing but kind to me during my stay here, making me feel so welcome and appreciated. Unfortunately, while I have loved being here I have been missing my life at the temple. While this is abrupt I hope you can understand that I have missed my old life too much and have to go back._

_Rey_

The words were burned into his memory. He couldn’t understand it. How could she leave so suddenly? Did he say something? Why didn’t she say goodbye? They were questions he thought over as he sat on the edge of his bed reading the letter over and over again.

He would take time in the evening when Bazine couldn’t see and read the letter over again as if he would see something new.

“Ben, you're not still reading that letter are you?” Bazine said, sounding exasperated as she came out of the bathroom, now dressed in a silk slip.

“It just doesn’t make sense why she would leave so abruptly,” he said despairingly. As he turned to look over at Bazine he saw her face hardened and her posture became stiff.

“Well, Rey said that she missed her old life so that’s it. There’s your reason.” She was sounding more irritated now.

“Bazine is there something wrong?” He asked.

“No. Not at all.” She said moving over to the vanity. They stayed in awkward silence for a bit as Bazine applied her creams and Ben put on his nightclothes before he decided to move the conversation.

“I guess I’ll need to hire a new governess.”

“Why don’t you just get a nanny droid,” she snapped.

“You know I’d rather have a living breathing staff than machines,” he said.

“Well I guess it’s not the same when a droid gets on its knees for you,” she snapped back.

“Bazine what are you saying,” he shouted, slamming his hand down on the nightstand, feeling a rage grow within him. “What is wrong?”

“I’m saying, don’t think that I didn’t notice what was going on between the two of you. I saw how you were looking at her,” she turned around to face him as she spoke.

“There was nothing going on Bazine!” he shouted, “and do you want to know why I don’t use droids? Finn was a stormtrooper who managed to escape and needed to start a life for himself! Rose was from Hays Minor and was escaping weapons testing from the First Order and needed to support her sister. Jemala, the twi’lek girl who does the gardening, was a slave for the Hutts. All these people needed a place to go Bazine, so don’t sit there and tell me that they’re here to provide some sort of sexual favour for me!” He was furious at her accusations, she had never known hardship in her life, but these people had and the least he could do was give them some sort of stability.

After a moment of silence, leaving Ben to boil in rage, she spoke up.

“I know your mother-in-law saw the two of you dancing and thought that she was me,” she spat the words like they were poison in her mouth. “I overheard the children talking about it.”

“Bazine it was a misunderstanding,” he said imploringly.

“Was it?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love me?” she said seemingly out of nowhere.

“What?” He said taken aback.

“You heard me. Do you love me?”

“Yes,” he said eventually, after too long a pause.

“Then prove it,” she said, “prove to me that you love me. Marry me.”

* * *

It was a warm day so the children were all in the garden trying to occupy themselves and they were beyond bord. Bazine was with them trying to get to know them by playing a game with a ball that involved bouncing it and calling out a number.

Cassie could tell that no one was having fun but she didn’t know if Bazine knew that or was completely oblivious. The only fun she was having was to use the force to make Bazine think that a fly was buzzing around her head. It was a trick Rey had taught them; it made dinner fun when they managed to get uncle Poe to say “where the fuck is that fly,” before clapping his hand over his mouth realizing that he swore in front of them as dad glared daggers at him.

They all missed Rey dearly and couldn’t understand why she had left so suddenly. Everything felt strange without her. The night before there had been a thunderstorm and they all instinctively ran to her old room where they ended up falling asleep. Their dad had found them sleeping on the floor and the bed.

“Well I’m getting hot so why don’t we put this on hold while we cool down,” Bazine said, practically sprinting away from them. They knew that their dad loves her but they all scratched their heads as to why. That day when they went into town with uncle Poe was fun because it was just uncle Poe; Bazine was hardly there and she hardly acknowledged them.

“Dad!” Jacen shouted when he saw their dad walk out onto the patio, “now Rey's gone, who will our new governess be?” They all walked up to join the adults.

“Well,” he said standing behind Bazines chair, putting his hands on her shoulders, “you won’t be needing a new governess.”

“Why?” Anne chirped up before he could finish.

“You won’t need a new governess because you're going to have a new mother,” as he said it everyone went silent for an uncomfortable length of time. Realizing how it looked to their dad Cassie took the initiative and went to kiss her on the cheek. Soon her siblings followed what was probably one of the coldest ‘welcome to the family’ in history. By the time it was Mira’s turn to kiss her she stopped and stared.

“I can’t, my finger hurts,” she said, holding up her finger that had a small cut on it that she got when she picked up one of the roses that had just been cut.

“That doesn’t stop you from being able to kiss her,” her dad responded. Once Mira had kissed her, they all went back inside.

* * *

Regret. That was what Ben was feeling. As he watched his children welcome their new mother into the family he realized that he had not only condoned himself to a loveless marriage but also his children.

Once again he had ruined their lives with an argument. First, he got Rüya killed and now he would have to marry Bazine to prove a point and not to feel like he wasted his time being away from his children so he could be with her. In the days that followed her proposal he realized that despite everything, he didn't love her. He was grateful for how she helped him after Rüya died, but that was it. At the beginning of the relationship, he thought that his lack of feelings for her were because he was still grieving, as time went on he thought that it was because Rüya had been the great love of his life and nobody, no matter how wonderful, could never match that. But as he saw his children lined up he realized that because of how she had helped him in the wake of his wife's death, he only ever saw an idealized version of her, but after their argument and the children's reception, he saw the full extent of his mistake.

The night before there had been another thunderstorm, like the one when Rey arrived. He had been up late working when, right before bed, he decided to check on them. He would usually check on them after they went to bed, but this time they weren’t in their rooms. He didn’t panic because he could feel their force signatures in the house. Going from room to room looking for them he eventually got to Rey's old room, and when he opened the door he saw them all fast asleep on the bed and the floor. It was then he realized just how much they missed her, and how much he missed her. Not wanting them to stay sleeping on the floor, he carefully picked each one up, so as not to wake them, and took them back to their rooms, leaving Anne and Mira in Rey's bed. Rey, he realized, was the only one to connect with them. For the weeks she was with them, she was like their mother, and she was someone he could trust.

Once the children were inside he sat down beside Bazine and tried to ignore his regrets.

“That reminds me I need to speak to my sister, I haven't heard from her in a while,” Bazine said after a moment of awkward silence, leaving just him and Poe.

“So who talks first? You talk first, I talk first?” He said desperately trying to lighten the tense mood.

“Can you take the kids out later?” He said, “They're bored out of their minds and I don’t doubt that Bazine will want to go over wedding plans.” He sounded resigned to the idea of planning the wedding.

“Will do buddy,” was all Poe said as they proceeded to sit in silence.

* * *

Being out with uncle Poe was always fun; he’d tell them jokes and embarrassing stories about their dad when he was young.

“.....now we were both sitting there, completely drunk trying to convince your grandma everything was fine...” at the moment Poe was telling the story of how they once got drunk when they were seventeen and tried to act normal at one of their grandma's diplomatic galas. Cassie was only half-listening to the story, she’d heard it before; he was telling it for the younger ones really. Feeling the comm unit in her pocket she was trying to find the right time when they could slip away from uncle Poe, thankfully Finn had come along with them so hopefully, the moment would arise soon.

Luckily that moment soon arose when uncle Poe decided to get Finn a cake from his favourite bakery, and the seven of them managed to escape unnoticed.

“Cassie, what is going on?” Alon said when they were out of view

“I might have stolen dad's comm unit so we can call the temple to talk to Rey,” she said.

“You stole his comm unit!” Jade said in shock.

“Really Jade? _You're_ uncomfortable with stealing?” That was all Cassie said as they sat down in a quiet corner of the market and they began to call.

“Why can’t we do this at home?”

“Because if dad found out he’d get all moody, like when Jacen asked why she left. All he did was say that she missed her old life and he was a complete grump for the rest of the day. I don’t want to deal with that.” Cassie said just when Luke answered.

“Hey, kids,” he said.

“Hi uncle Luke,” they said in unison.

“Is Rey there, we’d like to talk to her,” Cassie said

“She’s very busy at the moment, maybe some other time,”

“But I want to show her my hurt finger,” Mira said.

“Do you want me to kiss it better,” Cassie said. After their mother died she tended to be the one who would clean up Anne and Mira’s scrapes and kiss them better.

“No, I want Rey to!” She said defiantly.

“Well if I can’t help I’ll be going.”

“No, no, wait,”

“Goodbye kids,” he said before quickly cutting the connection.

* * *

They were worried, she could tell. Nobody said anything but she could feel their concern.

As she stood outside of Ashoka's office she wondered whether or not she was in trouble, she hadn’t done anything wrong, quite the opposite in fact! When Rey got back she threw herself into her training, not once leaving the temple to visit the mountains she loved so much.

“Come in Rey,” Ahsoka said as the door opened. Inside, the room was small and lit only by a small light on her desk and the sun coming through the window.

“You asked to see me,” Rey said sitting down.

“Yes, I did. Ever since you came back you’ve been different. Of course, we hoped that you would have become more focused, but Rey you're not yourself. Did something happen?” She said earnestly.

“No,” she whispered.

“Rey you haven't been yourself and you came back earlier than planned. You can at least see why everyone’s been worried. Was there something that made you come back early?”

“I couldn’t face him!” She blurted out, feeling the sudden need to move at her unexpected show of emotion, she got up and went over and stood by the window.

A sudden wave of panic came over Ashoka's force signature. “Rey,” she said quietly, “did he hurt you at all…”

“No, no,” Rey interrupted feeling tears begin to fall, “he never hurt me. No, he was never cruel, he was always kind and gentle. He helped me when I needed it and was always understanding. He was a great friend.”

“Then why did you leave,” she said softly.

“It wouldn’t have been appropriate for me to stay. It would have been wrong,” she said before changing the subject to avoid further questions, “I’m ready to finish my training and take my vows. I’d do it tomorrow.”

“Which ones?” Ahsoka said, giving a knowing look.

“What?”

“Which vows do you mean?” After a pause she continued, “do you mean your vows as a Jedi, or…”

“Jedi, of course!” Rey said defensively.

“Rey do you love Ben Solo?” She asked bluntly, although she probably knew the answer. After a moment of silence, Rey could feel her tears falling harder than ever. She never loved anybody that way before and she already knew that loving him was hopeless. He loved another, despite what Bazine had said that night, she had done more for him than Rey ever could, and Rey was a Jedi, while attachments weren’t forbidden, if she ever wanted to become a master, marriage was out of the question. _Isn’t it just like me?_ She thought, _to fall in love with a man who could never truly love me back._

“What’s the point,” Rey said, “he could never love me.” By saying it out loud she felt as if another piece of her heart broke. It was something that she thought over, and over again, eventually coming to the conclusion that nobody could love her. Her parents didn't want her, and Ben’s affections were only fleeting and temporary.

“Rey, these walls were not built to shut out problems, you have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live. You need to find what you want in life, if you have realized that you don’t want to be a Jedi, you don’t have to, but you do need to be honest with yourself about what you want. You need to search high and low for what makes you happy Rey, and when you find something you love, give it all the love you can give, because force knows how precious that can be. If you love him, avoiding him won't stop it. It may temporarily but in the end, you will be plagued by ‘what ifs’ and regrets. Go to him, face him, let him know how you feel.”

Rey could feel her eyes drying and resolve hardening at the master's words. “Thank you, master Tano,” she said, going to leave.

“Rey,” Ahsoka said, stopping her in her tracks, “I wish you all the happiness in the world,” and at that Rey nodded, her face still glistening with tears, smiled, and walked out of the door.

* * *

They knew that they were in trouble because their dad had them lined up the way they used to when they were marching.

“Is anyone going to tell me where you wandered off to?” He said stalking up and down the line as they all frantically tried to think of a reason. “Well, you must have gone somewhere seeing as Poe couldn’t find you for half an hour and called me in a panic,”

“We were blueberry picking!” Alon shouted after a moment of silence.

“What?” He responded.

 _What?_ Cassie thought to herself.

“We saw some blueberries by the side of the road by the market and decided to pick them. Gorged ourselves and lost track of time”

“Blueberries, huh?” They all nodded frantically, deciding to go along with Alon’s story. “It’s the wrong time of year for blueberries,” he pointed out, bursting their bubble, although now he seemed to be enjoying himself.

“No, they were strawberries!” He said, trying to rectify his mistake.

“Strawberries?”

“Well, the weather's been so cold recently that they turned blue,” as the words left his mouth Cassie could see him trying to retract them as he, and everyone else cringed. Solo men, she decided, were a breeding ground of half-baked plans and bad ideas and she would do everything in her power to stop her brother from ever opening his mouth again.

“Well I guess if you stuffed yourselves with berries earlier then you won’t be wanting any dinner,” and at that, he walked away smiling slightly.

The moment he was out of earshot Cassie took the opportunity to hit her brother for his stupid comment which was going to result in no dinner. After they had all taken turns making fun of him they all began to feel sad again. Their lack of dinner may have been tolerable if they managed to talk to Rey, but their uncle said that she was busy and wouldn’t talk to them. They felt abandoned and alone, they couldn’t talk to their dad or it would upset him, and there was no way they were talking to Bazine.

“Why don’t we all sing,” Cassie proposed, “whenever Rey got us to sing, no matter how bad a mood we were in we would all feel better.” Reluctantly they agreed.

_Mirrorbright, shines the moon, its glow as soft as an ember_

“Why don’t I feel any better?” Mira said mournfully.

_When the moon is mirrorbright, take this time to remember_   
_Those you have loved but are gone_   
_Those who kept you so safe and warm_

As they sang they thought they could hear another voice but brushed it off as their imagination.

_The mirrorbright moon lets you see_   
_Those who have ceased to be_

The voice began to get louder. They turned around and saw where the voice was coming from.

It was Rey.

She came back

_Mirrorbright shines the moon, as fires die to their embers_   
_Those you loved are with you still—_   
_The moon will help you remember_

As they all finished they ran up to her, hugging and laughing. They began to bombard her with questions about why she left and why she came back, but all she told them was that:

“you can’t run from your problems; you have to face them.”

Their celebration was cut short however when they all saw the face of their father standing in front of Rey.

Smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHES BACK!!!
> 
> also on an unrelated note if anyone wants to check out my terrible twitter you can find me at @Name_to_short


	9. Something Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY EVERYBODY!!!! i am so excited for you to read this and i am so grateful for the comments and kudos, so thank you to everybody.
> 
> and some housekeeping notes, i went back and decided to bump up Reys age. initially i decided to make her 22 because thats how old the real Mari Vontrapp was when she married the captain, but when i took in Cassies age of sixteen i decided that there needed to be a bigger age gap, even if its not much, so now rey is 25.

For the first time since she left, Ben was smiling. They stood there staring at each other in stunned silence as the children looked back and forth between the two.

“Alright, dinners on the table,” Ben said eventually, causing them to scurry off to the dining room, leaving him and Rey alone.

“You left without saying goodbye,” he said mournfully. 

“I did.”

“You came back,” he said smiling. At that moment he wanted to close the space between them and wrap her in an embrace and never let her go, but instead, he stood there.

“I did,” she said, returning the smile. He wondered if she was also fighting the urge to close the space between them. They continued to regard each other in silence while Ben was trying to find the words to say to her. What could he say?

 _‘Rey I love you. I'm engaged to Bazine and it's a mistake because I love you,’_ he couldn't say that.

“We missed you,” he said sadly, although there was still a smile on his face as he looked at her, “the children missed you. I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” she said with a soft smile. In the soft evening light, her skin had a golden hue and her eyes were like honey gazing upon him. Her lips rosy had parted slightly, making him want nothing more than to kiss them.

“Rey I...” he began but was cut off when he felt Bazine appeared behind him. She slowly made her way from the porch down to the grass where they were standing, looping her arm through his, staring Rey down like a predator.

“You're back!” she said, smiling, although it lacked the warmth of Reys, “I have to say I’m surprised, your letter sounded quite final.”

“It was,” Rey said, sheepishly.

“Well I trust Ben has told you the happy news,” she said, looking at Ben for confirmation as he shook his head and Rey stood there looking confused, “you haven't? Well, Ben and I are engaged! Now we haven't planned anything out or really told anyone just yet, but it's still early days,” Rey looked as if she'd taken a punch to the gut but was trying to hide it, as Bazine pressed on, “anyway, why the sudden return?”

Averting her gaze from the both of them, Rey gave her answer, “it was wrong of me to leave so suddenly. I should have made my feelings known earlier and given you time to find a replacement. I'll just stay until then.” while her words appeared honest, something about them felt off. He didn't know whether that feeling was in the force or whether it was the sadness in which she spoke.

After that, they made their way to the dining room, while Ben tried to avoid Bazine’s withering glares.

* * *

Rey tried to hide her heartbreak when Bazine said that she and Ben were going to be married. On her journey back to the villa she had never imagined that Ben would confess his feelings for her and they would run away and live happily ever after. She wouldn’t allow herself. But when Bazine said they were engaged she felt a dream that she never allowed herself to dream, die.

If they were left alone she would have told Ben about how she felt, confronted that he didn’t feel the same way and would have finished out the summer as a governess until the children went back to school. As usual, Bazine threw a spanner in the works and she had to tell a half-lie about why she was back.

Once she was in the dining room for dinner she saw the children’s excitement and she was once again bombarded with questions, causing her to remind them to keep eating on multiple occasions. That reminder however was also necessary for Poe who seemed equally enthusiastic.

Dinner that evening was a nerf steak with potatoes and asparagus. Having not eaten any lunch that day, Rey was absolutely starving and wanted nothing more than to wolf down the food, but for the sake of politeness, had to refrain. As she began to eat she suddenly noticed Ben's utensils moving at an alarming speed, as he ate without restraint. As she looked up at him from across the dining room table, their eyes met and she realized that he could sense her hunger and her restraint. With a soft smile as he paused to look at her, he gave her permission to wolf her food down with him. Needing no encouragement, she began to eat as much as she could as fast as she could in tandem with the captain.

Bazine regarded them with horror, whereas Poe began to think out loud and speculate over which one would finish first. As it turned out, Rey did. Once dessert rolled around, manners at the table had returned.

“So Jade,” Poe said seemingly out of nowhere, “you have any boyfriends your dad needs to beat up?”

“Why are you asking me?” She said, seeming slightly disgusted at the thought of a boyfriend, “ask Cassie,” at that moment Ben's eyes shot up to his eldest daughter with a look of what could only be described as fatherly shock. As if realizing she said the wrong thing, Jade clapped her hands over her mouth with a look of apologetic horror.

Turning bright red Cassie averted her gaze from her family, towards her dessert and said: “no I don't.”

Rey could feel Cassie's force signature had suddenly become very guarded, so as not to let any emotion seep out for the others to detect. She couldn’t tell whether or not Ben could sense it; if he could he gave no indication, instead, he decided to lighten the mood by saying, “I wouldn’t beat up a kid, I’d get him to meet my mother and see if he’s alive by the end of it.”

After that everything seemed alright and they went back to dessert as normal. It wasn’t until after dinner when Rey found Cassie in her room crying did she realize that something was wrong.

“Cassie, what's wrong,” Rey said, closing the door slightly so they could have a private conversation if she wanted. It was a large room with her bed pushed into the corner with the window over it. On the table next to the bed Rey could see holoBooks and a small picture frame with her and her mother.

“Nothing,” she said, wiping her nose.

“It can’t be nothing if it’s made you this upset,” she said, sitting down beside her on her pink bedspread, “you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. I can just sit here and keep you company, or I can leave, anything you want.”

After a pause, deciding what to do, Cassie spoke, shuffling closer to Rey, “it’s what jade said at dinner. I know she didn’t mean to let it slip but I’m just so mad at her, and uncle Poe for asking that stupid question.”

“So you do have someone.” It was more a statement than a question.

Cassie nodded, “the problem is, is that I haven’t seen him for most of the summer and we don’t have many opportunities to see each other and I constantly worry that he’s forgotten me or moved on.” The tears were coming harder now, “I would comm him but he’s not allowed to share that information with anyone because of his job, and besides I don’t think his father would really approve of us. Why does it have to be so hard!”

“Nothings ever easy, especially the things that bring us happiness. That’s why we’re always so happy when we have them because we know how much work it was to achieve it,” she said wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

“Rey, have you ever loved somebody?”

How could she answer that question? It wasn’t as if she could be entirely honest and tell her that she was in love with her father, but she also couldn’t lie. It wouldn’t be very comforting to tell a girl who desperately loves whoever this boy is that Rey is in love with someone who could never love her, especially now.

“Yes,” she said, “but it was complicated, and it would have never worked. I’m a Jedi and while they do allow marriages, it is difficult to balance a family with the commitment required.”

“Do you still love them?” Cassie asked.

“Yes,” she said honestly, “I don’t think I will ever stop loving him, however wrong it is.” And with that Rey was crying as well. They both started to laugh as they cried together. while Rey tried to apologize Cassie took it well saying that it was nice crying with someone who could relate to her. So they cried, and laughed, and talked and by the time they were finished, it was time for her to put the young ones to bed.

* * *

“Is it just me,” Poe said, lying in bed with his arm around Finn, “but everyone seems happier now that Rey's back?”

“They're definitely happier,” Finn said with certainty. “The captain’s been less grumpy in the last few hours than he has the last week. The staff are happier too, she actually talks to us and treats us like people, unlike Bazine who just ignores us.”

“I’m going to be honest, I don’t like Bazine very much,” Poe said, making Finn turn his head in shock.

“What! But you introduced them?”

“Yeah… didn’t like her much then, don’t like her now, but Ben seems to and a lot of us had questions about Rüya in the beginning but that turned out alright. I don’t know, I guess there’s something he sees in her that we don’t.”

“I guess,” Finn said. As Poe stared up at the ceiling he thought about how Ben's mood had drastically changed the second Rey arrived, how he lightened up and that sudden eating contest between the two of them. It was odd behaviour, that was for sure. He’d taken her leaving especially hard as well. That was when it hit him.

Ben was in love with Rey. That was why he was so upset when she left and why he was so dower when announcing his engagement! All that time he loved Rey. As he stared wide-eyed at the ceiling he heard a soft snore coming from Finn, and with the realization he let sleep claim him as well.

* * *

The next day was particularly hot so they all decided to go swimming in the lake. As the sun beat down on them Rey would watch the children’s heads bob in and out of the water as they splashed around. This level of heat was something that Rey was used to, having grown up under the scorching Jakku sun, but for the people of Naboo, this was particularly unbearable.

“Come on in,” Finn said to her as he swam up to the small dock where she was standing. After breakfast, Ben gave the staff the afternoon off, deciding that it was too hot for them to work. As Finn and Poe swam together Rey had to admit that she was tempted, although common sense won out.

“I can’t swim,” she said, “living on Jakku there’s not many places I can hone that skill. And I don’t have a swimsuit.”

“There’s a shallow part here where you can stand and you can borrow one from Jemala, she'll be happy to share. I just don’t like to see you being left out.” Poe said. She agreed and, after sheepishly asking Jemala, borrowed the least revealing one and headed out. By the time she got outside, she saw that Ben had come out, clearly intending to join them. As she approached she saw the broad expanse of his pale back and the definition of muscles beneath his skin. Not wanting to be caught staring she decided to stare at a twig on the ground instead.

Once she reached the water's edge she slowly waded her way into the water. The sun had warmed the shallows of the lake slightly, making her entrance into the water more pleasant than a cold shock. Slowly, she ventured out a little further until the water covered her chest, by which point she decided to stop.

Enjoying the cooling feeling of the water lapping against her skin she began to wonder what life would have been like on Jakku if she had somewhere she could cool down like this. Her musings were cut short, however, when she was beckoned over to join Finn, Poe, and Ben, who’s broad chest had been mostly covered by the water. As she walked over there was a sudden drop in the ground beneath her, causing her to fall. She began splashing around, trying desperately to keep her head above the water, when she felt a strong arm wrap around her waist, lifting her up.

Rising above the water, she was met with the face of an extremely concerned Ben.

“You know we can’t make this a habit, me saving you from drowning, you know.” He said once she had caught her breath.

“I guess you’ll have to teach me, then,” she said, quirking her eyebrow. While she did want to learn to swim, there was another, almost shameful part of her that didn’t want to lose the skin-on-skin contact she currently had with him.

“Alright,” he said. He slowly lifted her up and maneuvered her so she was floating on her back, while his hands kept her steady. Although the experience should have unnerved her, the feeling of Ben's hands were a comfort and helped keep her calm as she floated.

As the day went on he continued to teach her how to swim and by the end of the day, she could at least doggy paddle and tread water. She was proud of herself for learning how to swim. With her other skills, such as flying, building and scavenging, they had all had some relation to her daily life on Jakku, but being submerged in water was such an alien concept to her, even after six years of living on Naboo.

On land again and drying off, she realized just how naked she was, and just how naked Ben was. As she glanced from the corner of her eye she could see his well-sculpted chest, causing her to blush and once again look decidedly away from him. They didn’t look at each other at all until they made their way inside and got dressed for dinner.

* * *

Ben had been quiet during dinner. They didn’t have a repeat of the eating contest or that stupid comment from Poe which clearly upset Cassie. No. Dinner was quiet, which allowed him to do some thinking.

After spending the day teaching Rey how to swim, he realized he couldn’t continue living a lie. It was unfair on him and it was unfair on Bazine. What he needed to do was to come clean, admit that she was right, and end their engagement which would only result in unhappiness on both their parts.

After dinner he considered talking to Poe about it, but decided against it, instead spending the evening with his family before the children went to bed. Eventually, once the sun had set, casting a slight blue hue over the horizon, he found Bazine on the porch, while Rey stood in the distance overlooking the lake.

He approached cautiously until he stopped next to her, leaning on the railing. He stood there for a moment not quite sure about how to phrase it.

“Baz…” he started.

“You know I’ve been thinking,” she said, cutting him off, “about us. You know we’re very different people, you and I. I mean, your you, and I’m me, and I just can’t see this working out in the long run. We would drive each other mad. You're a family man and I've always thought that if I did have children, one would be my limit. It's not just the children where we have our differences, it's everything really. I’ve packed my things and I’ll be leaving for Theed in the next hour. I need to find myself someone who needs me, or my money at least.” They smiled at each other apologetically before she glanced at Rey and continued, “and I think I can see a girl that’s never going to be a Jedi.”

As Ben blushed, Bazine walked away into the house, but not before pressing a final parting kiss to his cheek.

* * *

Rey had found a small, hidden corner of the garden, surrounded by red rose bushes, primroses and red tulips. She sat on the small stone bench, where she could sit and enjoy all the smells of the flowers, which were especially fragrant tonight, and the view of the lake. The evening was still warm, but not unpleasantly so; part of her felt as if she could stay out here all night. She almost didn’t notice Ben approaching, ending her solitude.

“Mind if I join you?” He said sheepishly.

“Oh, not at all,” she said, moving up so he could sit next to her. They sat in silence for a moment as Ben clearly had something on his mind. “What’s that place over there, on the other side of the lake,” she said pointing to the large palatial villa that only had a few lights on, and looked mostly abandoned.

“Oh, that's Varykino. It was my grandmother’s family retreat. It’s mostly unused now except for the occasional family wedding or honeymoon. My cousin Diáné got married there a couple of years back.”

“Oh,” she said, “will you be getting married there?” As the words fell out of her mouth she felt her heart shatter, reminding herself that he was marrying someone else.

“Ah.” he said, shifting slightly, “me and Bazine aren't getting married. we called it off.”

“I’m, sorry,” she said. It was an automatic response, while part of her was happy that it had been called off, another part of her was sad for Ben, losing the woman he loved.

“Thank you.” he said, “wait you are?”

“Why did you call it off?”

“Well, you can't get married when you're in love with someone else,” he said, turning his head to Rey. As their eyes met she felt her heart stop, and his hand reach for hers. There was almost no space separating them now and she felt a sudden urge to put her hand on his face. Reaching up, his skin felt warm and soft, leaning his head into her hand. They stayed there for a few moments, unsure of what to do. Should she keep her hand there? Was he even referring to her? Should she kiss him? Should she grip his hand and never let go?

“Rey,” he said eventually, his voice as soft as an evening breeze, “I love you.”

As he said those words, the world stood still, and they were the only two people in the galaxy. All her life she believed herself unlovable, but here he was, sitting there saying the words with so much honesty and conviction as she caressed his face, for a moment all her self doubt faded away.

“I love you too,” she said. She’d never spoken truer words. Even if it was wrong, she was a Jedi, he was a captain, she meant it and would until her dying day.

Slowly but surely, their lips closed the distance between them, sealing their declarations of love. As he deepened the kiss he was forceful but gentle, oh so gentle, holding her as if she was made of glass and could break at any moment. Soon they broke away, both needing air, and they gazed upon each other, smiling but unsure of whether this was real.

“Is this a dream,” was all she could say as he held her, gazing into her eyes.

“If it is, I hope I never wake up,” he said, pressing his forehead to hers as he ran his hands through her loose hair. Eventually, he kissed her again.

“Do you know when I first started loving you?” she asked as he shook his head, “when you blew that stupid whistle,” he chuckled in response, placing a kiss on her temple.

“Do you know when I first started loving you? When you blew that whistle back at me.” they both laughed at the memory which seemed like a lifetime ago when Ben was the brooding captain, and Rey was the stubborn Jedi girl with a point to prove to her masters.

“What did I do to deserve you?” she said, in disbelief.

“What did I do to deserve you?” he countered, making her smile.

“Well, somewhere down the line we must have done something good,”

She began to kiss him again, holding him closer and tighter, like in a moment he would slip away from her. He then began to move his kisses down along her jaw and the column of her neck. Each kiss was like fire on her skin and she craved more. They stayed like this as the sun had set fully and their only light were the stars and moon shining down upon them. In that moment, Rey was reminded of the night of the ball and how they danced and gazed into each other's eyes.

“Rey,” he said as he kissed her, “who do I need to go to, to ask if I can marry you?”

“The children?” she said smiling. Laughing, he stood up and picked her up carrying her back into the house, like a bride.

Slowly but surely they made their way upstairs to his bedroom, where he lay her down on the bed, kissing and holding her, as the rest of the world faded away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they finally admitted their feelings for each other!!!! now to those wondering, no, there will be no smut. i know it kind of looks like i might continue the chapter from where i left off, but i just dont feel confident writing it, so im afraid ill have to leave it to your imaginations (have fun!).
> 
> Edit: I forgot to include the link to the Wikipedia article on plant symbolism that I used in this scene so here it is.
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plant_symbolism


	10. Love, True Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! sorry for so long a wait between updates, i was having a bit of writers block and i couldnt find time to write but here we are! hope you enjoy!

The sun slowly crept up, seeping through the spaces in the blinds, letting the daylight through. For the briefest moment, Rey forgot where she was until she felt the warm expanse of chest beneath her cheek and a strong arm wrapped around her waist.

 _‘This is real’_ she thought to herself in amazement, _‘this wasn’t all just some beautiful dream. He loves me.’_

Lying there, in the dim sunlight, Rey began to feel Ben stir awake. Looking up she saw him looking at her, smiling.

“Good morning,” he said, in a rough morning voice.

“Morning,” she said, her voice equally rough. He rolled over slightly to allow himself to plant a kiss on her forehead, and for her to wrap her arm around him more tightly. They stayed like that for a while, not quite asleep, not quite awake, but enjoying a few moments of peace before facing the day.

As they slowly became more alert, Ben began to pepper her face with kisses, holding her close. Rey, of course, returned the favour and she decided that all she wanted to do was to spend the day in bed with him. They were interrupted however with a sudden knock on the door.

“Sir, breakfast is ready downstairs. Everybody’s waiting for you.” Came the voice of Rose through the closed door.

“Yes I’ll be there right away,” he said as they both got up to grab their clothes that had been discarded the night before, off of the ground.

“Oh, you wouldn’t happen to know where Rey is, would you? She hasn’t made an appearance downstairs but her bed’s fully made.”

After staring awkwardly at each other trying to come up with something to say, Rey decided to speak up.

“I’m here as well, we were just talking,” it wasn’t a complete lie. They did talk last night, among other things. It was a good thing that the children’s rooms were on the other side of the house.

“Okay…..” Rose said, “Well breakfast is ready,” and with that, she left without another word, although Rey thought that she heard a snicker as she walked away. As they regarded each other they suddenly burst out giggling like a couple of teenagers. They continued to get dressed as Rey hoped that nobody would notice that she was wearing the same clothes as last night.

As they made their way downstairs Rey suddenly realized how awkward it would be to face the children. After some of the things, they did to each other…

“Hey, you finally made it down you two!” Poe said happily as they sat down.

“Sorry, we had some things to talk about,” Ben said as breakfast was placed in front of them. As they ate their breakfast Rey began to notice that Finn, who was standing by the door behind Ben, looked as if he was trying to school his face from laughing.

“Finn, are you alright?” She asked.

“Yes, sorry. Just something I heard last night,” he said. At that moment Ben and Rey's head shot up to look at each other in realization. Poe’s room was only a few doors down from theirs last night. Finn must have been there. They heard everything.

Rey was desperately trying to keep the blush away from her face while Ben seemed dedicated to studying the eggs on the plate in front of him.

“What did you hear?” Mira asked innocently, which caused Finn to stop laughing and look horrified. His eyes darted between the adults as if asking them what to say to, under any other circumstances, would have been a fairly innocent question.

“Singing.” he settled with, making Rey cringe as that was somehow the worst thing he could have said.

“Who was it?” she asked, once again totally oblivious.

“Me,” said Ben, trying to end the conversation as fast as possible, “I was singing in the shower.” despite their best efforts, the children seemed intent on continuing the conversation.

“What were you singing?” Anne asked, but before Ben could answer Poe jumped in.

“I wouldn't really call it singing, but rather a string of incoherent noises.'' As the words left his mouth, Rey could see Poe trying to retract them. Under any other circumstance, it would have been just a funny comment on Ben's singing ability; at least Cassie and Alon had the good sense to turn pale and go very, very quiet while the others laughed.

After the agony that was breakfast, Finn and Poe both apologized profusely, they both realized that they needed to take the kids aside and tell them about what was going on. Clearly, Cassie and Alon had figured it out (hence why they were avoiding eye contact and looked at their food like it was the most unappetizing thing in the world) but now they had to tell the others.

Once Rey had had a shower and was in some different clothes from the night before, she went to find Ben to see how they would have the talk with the children. However, it was incredibly difficult because the moment she saw him the first thing she wanted to do was to tear his clothes off and take him where he was standing. That she didn't do, however, as at the moment she saw him he was having his hair braided by Mira. They exchanged a smile at each other and Rey didn't know how, but upon seeing that, somehow she loved him more.

* * *

Ben, once Mira had finished with him, had fixed his hair and was about to tell everyone that they needed to meet in the main living room. As he was walking out of his bedroom, however, he was met with the concerned faces of his two eldest children blocking his path.

“Dad, we need to talk,” Alon said, stepping forward.

“What's this about?” he asked as he was being glared at by the two.

“Rey,” Cassie said, also stepping up as if she was about to fight her father. “We know what's going on between you two” at those words he wanted to shrivel up and die; why did they have to find out in the worst possible way?

“We just wanted to say that if you hurt her, we will all personally make your life a living hell,” Alon said in a tone that left no room for argument. It was a strange feeling, having your own son threaten what would happen to you if you hurt their future stepmother. As Ben assured them that he would never hurt her, he asked them to find their siblings and gather them in the living room.

“Kids, Rey and I have an announcement to make,” he said when they were all gathered together.

“Have you found us a new governess?” Elara asked, sounding sad.

“Ah, no, not exactly,” he said, fretting over how to phrase what he was about to say next, “there’s been a change of plan. I’m not going to marry Bazine any more, she broke it off, that’s why she wasn’t at breakfast.” an audible sigh of relief could be heard from all of them, “but, last night I had a realization of sorts about who I love and to tell you the short story, the person I love, and have loved all this time is Rey. That’s why I’m going to marry her. She’s going to be your new mother.”

The children were all ecstatic of course, running up to both of them and hugging and kissing them. Poe had a few comments along the lines of: “Another seven will put you into an early grave.”

Once the excitement had died down slightly, Ben managed to steal Rey away, allowing them some time to themselves.

* * *

The next few weeks had been the busiest of Rey's life. The moment Ben told his parents of their engagement, they had come over immediately to start planning the wedding. Leia had been insistent that it be the wedding that she has always wanted. The problem was that Rey had never dreamed of getting married, on Jakku marriage was more of a business transaction between two individuals rather than a love match. If she hadn’t seen what marriage meant in the rest of the galaxy, she would have continued to have a fairly dim view of it.

Rey was finding it all a bit much; looking at locations, what type of flowers they wanted, the food, the guests. There were several points when Rey felt like backing out and just eloping instead, but then there were moments when she felt the excitement that everyone shared and that was when it all felt worth it.

The night before the wedding Leia was insistent that they stay apart, Rey would stay at Varykino where they would get married and spend their first night as a married couple before going to a small cottage on the other side of the planet, and Ben would stay at home. When Rey asked why they wouldn’t stay at Varykino for their honeymoon, Ben said:

“One, I don’t want the kids to come over and catch us literally with our pants down, and two, I don’t want you projecting through the force what’s going on.”

“I think I have a pretty good control over the force and I won’t be projecting,” Rey said, reminding him that she was a trained Jedi.

“Trust me, what I have planned, you will be,” he said winking as he walked off, and Rey stood there slightly shocked, but also slightly excited.

As Rey sat on her bed in the palace, she felt a sudden wave of disbelief at what was happening. She was getting married to the man she loved.

For so many years she thought that marriage was something that was unattainable for her, first on Jakku, then as a Jedi, but despite the odds here she was, the night before her wedding. She got up and went over to the window to look down onto the balcony where they would be getting married. She then looked across the water to see the lights of their villa still on where Ben was staying with the boys.

* * *

It was the day of the wedding and Ben was anxiously waiting for Rey to emerge from the doors. Standing beside him was his best man, Poe, as well as Alon and Jacen. Looking out into the crowd he saw mostly familiar faces, Rey didn’t have any family except for people at the temple; he could see his Naberrie cousins talking to one of the Jedi from his uncle's temple, clearly overwhelming him. To his left he could see his parents bickering about something or other while his uncle Chewie looked beyond exasperated, after over thirty years of having to live with their arguments, Ben could understand.

The night before he spent sitting and drinking with Poe, his father and his boys (they, being children, only had a little to drink and it was mostly watered down) and telling stories that would never be repeated to another living soul.

“Dad,” Jacen had asked as they all sat in the living room, “why are you so nervous about getting married? You’ve done it before.”

“Because it’s a big commitment, it’s the rest of your life together.” he explained, “I love her so much and I don’t want her to ever doubt it,” that last part was said mostly to himself rather than his son; although he seemed satisfied with the answer.

His thoughts were cut short when he heard the music strike up and the doors opening revealing Rey, who was a vision in white. She was wearing a dress with a lace sweetheart neckline, and a skirt that went out at her hips. In her hand, she held a bouquet of Myrtle and mallows close to her chest as she was walked out by Ahsoka with his daughters in tow as bridesmaids. Her hair had been braided in a traditional Alderaani wedding braid that had little forget-me-nots woven in. He felt a sudden sense of pride towards his daughters for weaving her hair so skillfully, and for having listened to him when he talked about the traditions of Alderaan.

As their eyes met across the aisle, they both broke out into the widest grins possible, unable to contain their joy. Once they were both standing there at the altar, Ben found it hard not to pull her in and kiss her where she was standing, it would probably shock half the guests. the officiant began to speak, but Ben didn’t hear a word of what was being said, too distracted by Rey to listen. When it came time to say their vows he would have missed it if it weren’t for Rey squeezing his hand to remind him to say ‘I do’. When the time came to finally kiss, he didn’t hold back; pulling her in, he gently placed his lips over hers and kissed her so sweetly, so tenderly it reminded him of their first kiss, behind the rose bushes.

The reception was mostly uneventful, aside from a few embarrassing stories from Poe about their antics when they were younger. Rey of course, laughed at them all, until it came time for Ahsoka to tell some interesting stories about her. Turns out she wasn't lying when she said that she was a source of trouble at the temple. As Ben learned, one time Rey decided that it would be a good idea to meditate with the animals, but forgot to close the door as she left, setting them loose across the temple, giving the phrase ‘a wild goose chase’ a very literal meaning.

“Hey kid,” his dad said once the reception was fully underway, with everyone dancing, eating, and slightly drunk.

“Hey dad,” he responded.

“I'm going to be honest, I like her. She's a good kid.”

“I'm glad you like her.” he said, “and for the record, she likes you too; called you a legendary smuggler,” that made his dad chuckle, despite being a war hero, he was always a smuggler at heart.

“I can see how much you love her when you look at her,” he said, “it's the same way I look at your mother. You two will be happy, I know it.”

* * *

The next day they left Varykino to head to the small cottage where they would be spending the rest of their honeymoon. The journey on the speeder took up most of the day, they could have flown but Rey wanted to see the Nabian countryside, and by the time they arrived it was sunset. They were staying at a small stone cottage that had a winding path up to the dark, wooden, arched door. Flowers were climbing up the sides of the wall, wrapping themselves around the balconies and the window panes. The building itself was small, but the large windows allowed a plethora of light through, despite the dimming sunlight. As Rey stood at the end of the winding path up to where they would spend the next five weeks, she suddenly felt her feet leave the ground as she was picked up by her new husband and carried over the threshold of the house.

“Ben! What are you doing?” she cried, being swept up into his arms.

“It's only right that I carry my wife over the threshold,” he declared, making their way through the garden path as the aromas of fresh jasmine filled the air. As they made their way into the house, Ben laid her down on the couch, with Rey fully expecting what was coming next, as he kissed her senseless. Just as Rey thought that he was going to take it further, however, he stopped, much to her disappointment.

“You should take a bath,” he said seemingly out of nowhere.

“What?” she said, surprised at the sudden change of mood, and slightly insulted, “are you saying I smell?”

“No. I'm saying that I have a surprise for you and you need to occupy yourself with something while I prepare it for you. And I kind of need you out of the way for it to actually be a surprise.” he clarified, bettering Rey's mood. Agreeing, she ran upstairs and began to draw the bath.

As she filled the tub she became distracted by all the salts, and soaps meant for the bath; Lavender, rose, jasmine and an array of others filled the cabinets next to the two-person soaker tub. Eventually, she settled with bubbles, while a small part of her felt that a bubble bath might have been childish, another part of her decided that it was her honeymoon and if she wanted bubbles, she could have bubbles; although to feel a bit more mature she added the rose salts. Slowly but carefully she sank into the bath, enjoying the feeling of the water enveloping her, and wrapping around her like a blanket on a cold night.

As she soaked, her mind began to wander and she was suddenly wondering if she would be able to use the force to move the water. First, she started with the bubbles for practice, making small clumps rise over her head, giving it the appearance that it was snowing in the bathroom. Next, she moved on to the water. Once she was sitting very still so as not to create any movement, therefore making it difficult to tell what was the force, she began to create very small waves. At first, she wasn't sure if it was the force, or her breathing, so she intensified her concentration, and began to use more effort, creating bigger, more obvious waves, some of which were splashing over the sides of the tub.

After about forty-five minutes of soaking and experimenting with the force in the tub she began to smell something burning and then she heard the smoke alarm going off. panicking, Rey grabbed a towel and ran down the stairs, where she was confronted with Ben, waving a tea towel in front of the alarm as smoke filled the kitchen.

“Ben, what's going on?” she said worriedly. As he looked towards her, he had an embarrassed look written all over his face.

“I was trying to cook you dinner but I left the bread rolls in for too long and when I opened the oven a plume of smoke came out and got me in the face and the fire alarm went off,” he said sheepishly. It took all Rey had not to laugh at him when she noticed the charred bread rolls, that looked more like lumps of coal than anything edible. Here he was, her tall, broad, and slightly intimidating husband, cooking her dinner, embarrassed about some bread rolls. As he continued to look at her anxiously, she ran over to him, kissing him, telling him that she wasn't worried if their meal was missing some rolls.

She went back up to their room and got changed into her usual tunic and leggings, dried off and went back down to the dining room which she saw was empty, and looked like nobody had even been in there.

“Ben!” She called out.

“I’m out here,” he said. As she made her way to the double door that overlooked the patio she saw that a table and chairs had been set out, with candles and a bottle of wine accompanying the meal which had been laid out in front of her. Behind them was a beautiful view of the valley beneath, lit up by the starlight and the moon. As she approached the table, Ben pulled out a chair for her to sit in and poured her some wine.

“What is this?” She asked as he sat down.

“Well, it’s an old tradition from my mother's homeworld that newlyweds share a meal together under the stars; it’s supposed to represent the star's blessing of their marriage. It’s silly I know, but it would have felt wrong if I didn’t.” He said with a sheepish smile.

“It’s not silly,” she said reaching over the table to hold his hand, “it’s rather sweet actually, having the stars witness a small act of selflessness.” It didn’t matter how far in the past Jakku was, she always saw someone sharing food with another person as one of the kindest acts there was, even if they didn’t realize it.

He picked up her hand and kissed it before he said “let’s eat”. The food itself was delicious, causing them to sit mostly in silence just enjoying each other's company.

“You haven’t taken out your braids from yesterday,” Ben pointed out as they finished their meal.

“The girls did such a wonderful job I didn’t want to,” she said before adding slightly embarrassed, “and I have no idea how to take them out without ripping out half my hair.”

“I’ll help you,” he said, walking over and he slowly began to take them out. He was so gentle as her hair slowly fell out of the braid, and on to her shoulders. In all of Rey's life, this was the most intimate thing she had ever done, despite it being something so seemingly mundane, it was the most meaningful. Once it was mostly down he began to brush the final braids out with his fingers, gently running his hands through her hair. Once it was down completely, leaving only gentle waves in her hair, he paused to look at her. As she stared up at him, under the stars he looked so young and in love.

Slowly he reached down and kissed her like he had all the time in the world as Rey threaded her fingers through his hair and returned the kiss. Slowly but surely she stood up so he wouldn’t have to bend down and give each other a better angle to kiss. As they broke away he still held her close, resting his forehead against hers.

“I love you, Ben Solo,” she said glancing up at him, smiling.

“I love you too, Rey Solo,” he said as he kissed her again.

Despite what her new name suggested, at that moment Rey knew that she would never be alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reys dress
> 
> https://images.app.goo.gl/qw7gkHuDPRFFQpq9A


	11. All Good Things Must Come to and End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the honeymoon phase is over guys. bring on the angst! (sorry but you know whats coming)

Rey stretched her fingers out, eyes not quite open and not fully awake, reaching for her husband, only to be met with an empty bed and cold sheets. She knew it was the morning from the bright light filling the room, making its way under her closed eyelids. As she slowly began to wake more she heard Ben's footsteps making their way into their room. When she opened her eyes she saw how he was fully clothed, unlike her, looking anxious and his force signature was steeped in panic.

“Morning,” he said halfheartedly as he bent down to kiss her.

“Morning,” she said, growing concerned, “is something wrong?” as she asked the question, Ben pulled her in for a hug, placing his lips on the crown of her head, breathing her in.

“Ben tell me what’s wrong, I’m getting worried.”

“I thought we had more time,” he mumbled.

“Ben, your force signature is all over the place and you're speaking in riddles. you're scaring me, what's wrong?”

“It's the First Order,” he said eventually, “they've taken Naboo. Poe just commed me saying it happened last night. He would have contacted us sooner but it all happened so suddenly.”

“What are we going to do?” Rey asked, now terrified.

“We're going to have to go back to the children, obviously, but after that, I have no idea. I did have a plan for this but I thought we would have more warning so we could leave before this happened.” He said as he held her close. They stayed there for a moment in a limbo of sorts, not wanting to move but knowing that they had to leave immediately. It was terrifying, knowing that they were surrounded by an enemy who would want to take away the man she loved and probably herself when they found out that she spent six years training as a Jedi.

“I should get dressed and we should get ready to leave,” she said. He nodded and they began to pack their things, leaving what had been their home for the last four weeks.

* * *

Everything had changed overnight.

They got the news that the first order had taken Theed at six, and by six-thirty stormtroopers were prowling the streets, with First Order flags waving from almost every window. The banners and insignia were everywhere, like a plague.

Cassie stood in the auditorium where they would be performing in a few days' time for the local music festival that took place towards the end of the summer every year. All around her she could feel the force had become dark and unbalanced with the orders' presence. In the distance, the sound of marching could be heard, drifting through the now silent streets. Where at midday the sounds of people milling about the market could be heard, now there were only armoured footsteps.

“Uncle Poe, will dad be mad at us taking part in this?” Elara asked as he handed out brochures for the show.

“Maybe,” he said quickly before changing the subject, “look on page four, ‘The Solo Family Singers’ and underneath it has all your names.” Poe handed Cassie a bright blue brochure, that had little golden accents adorning the edges of the paper. The cover had a pencil-drawn image of the auditorium with writing surrounding it.

“Even if dad’s mad, mom will talk him down,” Jade said. Despite Rey's Insistence that they didn’t have to call her mom because she wasn’t their real mom, they had all taken to it rather quickly, all wanting to call her that. It felt good to be able to call her that, to be able to say that again.

“Cassie,” Mira whispered, turning around to face her, “why am I always last,” she pointed to her name that was listed last out of the family.

“Because that’s where all the best people go,” she whispered back, making her little sister smile.

As the rest of the siblings became engrossed in the print of their names, she began to notice that the sun was reflecting strangely out of the corner of her eye. Turning to look, she saw a stormtrooper with shiny silver armour walking towards them. Slowly the others began to notice them approaching them and fell silent.

“You are the Solo family, correct.” The modulated female voice stated.

“Yes,” Cassie said.

“I am captain Phasma and I request to speak with your father Captain Ben Solo. We went to your house but he was not there.”

“That’s going to be a bit difficult,” Poe said, “he’s on his honeymoon at the moment.”

“Have his children been in contact with him?”

“Captain, how many men do you know that keep in contact with their children while on their honeymoon?” Poe asked, in his usual fashion, not caring about who he was talking to. Despite the mask, Cassie knew that the captain was frowning. Their dad had specifically told uncle Poe that they were not to make contact unless it was an emergency and that mom and dad would call instead. They had spoken a few times, so uncle Poe was lying a bit but Cassie didn’t feel any sort of guilt for it. In fact around these people, she practically wanted to do nothing but lie to them.

“Well, when he returns, let him know that the first order has requested to meet with him immediately.” She said before she marched away with fellow stormtroopers in toe.

“Oh, and one more thing,” she said turning around, “we noticed that your villa was the only one not displaying the flag of the first order so my men have taken the liberty of rectifying that.”

After that encounter, Poe made the call for them all to go home. Leaving the theatre, Cassie was once again bombarded with first Order flags and marching stormtroopers. As they made their way to the family speeder, she noticed a tall figure with a shock of ginger hair.

“Armitage!” She called as she ran up to greet him. As she reached him she nearly jumped into his arms, embracing him so tightly. “I’ve missed you.”

As she looked at him she saw nearly no emotion. Breaking away he stood regarding her as if she was a total stranger.

“Armitage…”

“I have a letter for your father,” he said in a wooden tone.

“Couldn’t you just deliver it later when I’m at home?” she gave him a flirtatious look, trying to get him to catch on. She knew how dense men could be at times.

“Well you're here now,” he said, still very wooded, although his voice faltered as he spoke his next words, “I shouldn’t waste my time.” Despite the cruel words, his face looked as if it was trying to hide a semblance of sadness and heartbreak.

Handing her the letter, he walked off without saying goodbye or looking back. It was only as he walked away that she noticed the red armband around his bicep over his black uniform.

* * *

After some hours of travel, they had finally made it home, only to be met with the flag of the First Order waving from one of the windows. All the other houses in the neighbourhood were displaying them but to see his own home soiled by that glorified rag was too much for Ben.

As he got out of the speeder, not even taking the time to take out their bags, he walked up to where the flag was hanging and pulled it down. Once it was fully out of the windows he began to rip it in half, destroying any evidence that they had polluted his home. He was so caught up in anger that he almost didn’t notice a hand wrap itself around his wrist, rubbing soothing circles into it.

Throwing the shreds on the ground he wrapped his arms around his wife as they held each other for just a moment, calming him down. They were interrupted however when they heard the sound of a speeder driving up and pulling in next to them. They were greeted by a chorus of voices declaring ‘your back’ as they all went and hugged them.

“How was the honeymoon?” Poe asked once the children had all gone inside.

“Good.” Ben said, “wished it could have lasted longer.”

“I'm sorry you had to come back early,”

“It's for the best,” he mumbled as they walked back inside, taking Rey’s hand. Once they were in the foyer Mira ran up to them again giving them another hug, clearly happy to see them. As she walked away, Ben noticed that she was holding some kind of leaflet in her hand.

“Hey Mira, sweetheart,” Ben said walking up to her, “what have you got there.” with that, she gave it to him and he read what was on the cover, ‘the lake country music festival’. As he opened it up, looking through he saw on page four all the names of the children.

“Poe, what is this?” he said, slowly turning to face Poe who looked like deer in the headlights.

“Ah…” he said running his hands anxiously through his hair, “the kids are taking part in the music festival. With Rey's lessons, they all sounded so good and they're so excited” he reasoned.

“Poe, with everything going on you realize that I'm not letting the kids take part right?”

“I signed them up before everything blew up. They'll be crushed if they don't do it. Rey tell him, please.”

“I actually agree with him on this one,” Rey said. On the journey over he told Rey the plan that he put in place if this was to happen. Poe knew full well about the plan, he helped come up with it.

Throwing his hands up in defeat, Poe walked off into his room saying that there was some business he needed to deal with. Hopefully to pull the children from the festival, though that was unlikely. What he was probably doing was getting in touch with his friends in the Resistance; knowing him he’d want to help in any way he could.

Once he and Rey had joined the others they finally managed to answer some questions.

“What did you do when you were away?” Anne asked.

“Kiss,” Ben said, earning a disgusted look from all his children.

“Where did you stay?” Elara asked.

“In a small stone cottage that overlooked a valley,” Rey responded.

“Are you upset that you had to come back early?” Jacen asked.

“Absolutely not,” Rey said, “the moment we found out we rushed to be with you. With everything going on we wanted to be as near you as possible.” as Rey gathered them in her arms in a protective hold, he felt a sudden swell of love for her. Glancing around he noticed that Cassie was missing from Rey's embrace.

“Hey, where’s Cassie, we barely saw her when you got here,” Ben said. When everyone got out of the speeder she had just said hello before running off.

“No idea.” They all said.

“She was pretty upset about something on the way back. I don't know what it was about though,” Alon said, although Ben had a feeling that he knew what was upsetting her, but just didn't want to say. With that Ben decided to go find her, besides the fact that he wanted to see his daughter after such a long time away from her, he also was worried about her.

He went to her room first, but the door was open and she wasn’t there. Next, he tried his office, somewhere she used to hide when she was upset when she was little, but once again was not there. He kept trying different hiding spots that she used to use when she was little, but to no avail. Eventually, he decided to check behind the rhododendrons, which provided absolute privacy. As he approached he saw Cassie, sitting on the bench there, crying.

“Cassie?”

“Hey dad,” she said between sniffs. He went over and sat down next to her, protectively wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Is it nothing, or is it something but you just don’t want to tell your dad?” She nodded at that. He stayed there as she cried into his shoulder, telling her that If she wanted she could tell him anything, but she didn't have to if she didn't want to. He offered to get Rey, but she said she’d rather he was there.

“Dad,” she began, wiping her tears with the back of her hand, “what do you do when someone you love isn’t who you thought they were?” This must have been about the boyfriend that Jade had let slip that day at dinner. In all honesty, he felt that this was a conversation she should have with Rey, but she was asking him so he would give an honest answer.

“Well first you mourn the person you thought they were, then you cry a bit. You might be angry, and that’s okay, then you come to terms with who they really are, and then, when you’re ready, you move on.” Ben said, before adding something that every fatherly urge was telling him to say, “but if all that doesn’t work come to me and I’ll make him wish he was never born.” That managed to get a laugh from her. After a moment he sighed and wrapped another arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

“I love you, sweetheart.”

“I know.”

* * *

Once the children were in bed, all the staff, as well as Rey, Ben and Poe, gathered in the dining room as it was big enough to accommodate them all. As Rey sat down at the end of the table, with Ben at the head, she could feel everyone’s confusion. The last few hours hadn’t been easy; once the children were fully distracted watching a holo-movie, Poe took Ben and Rey aside and gave him the letter that was addressed to him. He had taken it from Cassie when they all could see that she was so upset that she might forget to pass it along.

It was an official summons from the first order telling him that he must go and join up with the Supremacy and there he would be assigned a post as captain of one of their ships. They knew it would be coming, they just hadn’t expected it to be so soon. As the three of them stood in the office, they realized that their plans for escape had been rendered all but useless.

Rey approached him, half expecting him to fly off the handle in a rage, she wouldn’t have blamed him if he did. Instead, he stood there staring at the paper, very quietly, crying. At first, she thought that it was the news of his summons, but then he handed her the paper, and that was where she saw it:

_In addition to the summons of captain Ben Solo of the Naboo Royal Navy, upon further inspection, it has come to our attention that other members of the Solo household are eligible for service._

_It is with great honour that we call Miss Cassie Leia Solo and Mr. Alon Bail Solo to the First Order Officers Academy where they will be trained in the art of war and eventually be made into high ranking officers._

_This is a mandatory enlistment, and failure to comply will result in death._

As Rey read it she broke down crying. Not only did they want to take away her husband, but her children too. After years of waiting for a family that never loved her, she finally found one that did, only for it to be taken away from her in the cruellest stroke. Unable to speak, Rey passed the letter to Poe, watching him break down as he read.

So, as the staff gathered, as well as the confusion from them, she could also feel the prevailing sense of agony from her husband. They had agreed not to tell anyone about Cassie and Alon’s enlistment, even Cassie and Alon, knowing that they were being used as pawns to ensure that Ben was complicit, and not to terrify the children anymore.

“You're probably wondering why I gathered everyone here at this late hour,” he began, “as you all know the First Order has taken Naboo and we're now all under their jurisdiction. This afternoon I got a letter from the top brass ordering me to rejoin as a captain in their navy.”

“What would happen if you said no?” One of the younger staff asked. Kandri Vene was a sweet girl but had a childlike naivety about her that made it easy for her to be taken advantage of.

“If he did that, they would probably kill him, or someone he loves, and keep going until he complies. If he decided to join, knowing his hate of the Order, they would probably keep Rey and the kid's hostage.” Finn said, his expression turning dark and his voice authoritative as if he spoke from experience. Kandri looked suddenly very frightened and apologetic for even asking the question.

“There's one thing I don't understand though,” she said, slightly nervous, “if they'll do something like that, how come everyone was so happy that they took over?” it was a reasonable question, something that Rey had asked herself many times over the course of the day.

“Because people have short memories,” Ben responded, “Naboo was the home of Emperor Palpatine, so under the Empire, the planet was allowed to prosper. People remember the prosperity but forget the public executions, and the suffering that lay hidden just beneath the surface, they forget the celebrations the day the Empire fell. People want to relive the good so much that they'll look at the bad through a rose-coloured glass.” Everyone seemed satisfied with the answer, and also relieved that someone else had asked it.

“But because of the suffering,” Ben continued, “we have to leave. When I went to Theed I met with the queen and she gave me the royal codes that will allow us to leave the planet undetected, of course, that was the last resort option. The original plan was that we would leave before the order got here, saying that we were going to Bespin to visit some family friends when we would actually head to Endor. Poe would arrange a pick up to get you all off-planet as well before the First Order could get its hands on you. Now they're here,, of course, there's been a change of plan. I think we can all agree that it is top priority to get the children out first, so what we're going to do is to leave the night of the music festival, most of the town will be there anyway, so we’ll be able to escape unnoticed. Once we’re safely out, we’ll have Poe pick you all up and take you to Endor from there you will be able to continue working for us, so there’s no need to fear the loss of employment.”

As he explained the plan she could see a sense of relief washing over everyone, knowing that they hadn’t been forgotten to be left for the First Order to use as leverage. Seeing as most of the staff had been under First Order rule, they knew just how dangerous it would be for them to stay while their employers leave. It would practically be a death sentence. Finn was in an especially precarious position being a former stormtrooper, which meant that he couldn’t leave the house or risk being recognized by someone.

Walking out of the dining room Rey grabbed Ben's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. It was hard on everyone, leaving like this so suddenly, but it was definitely harder on Ben. Naboo was his home, he had lived here his whole life, so being forced to leave was taking a toll on him. It was especially difficult knowing that not just his life, but their children’s lives were in the balance. They were yet to tell the children, once again unsure about how to tell them about yet another major change in their lives.

Making their way up to bed, they went round to the children’s rooms, checking up on each of them. By the time they were in bed, they just lay there holding each other, terrified for the future but also terrified of the alternative.


	12. We'll Meet Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone, i know that this update is late and im going to be honest with you, it is partly due to being busy these last few weeks but i also delayed because i have enjoyed writing this so much and i dont want it to be over. so without further adue, chapert twelve...

Sleep that night was fleeting. They would get maybe half an hour at a time, but aside from that, they spent most of the night awake, not saying anything, holding each other as if they could slip away at any moment. As Ben held Rey close, he could feel her heart beating, giving him something to focus on, besides the world at large. When morning eventually broke they decided to go outside and watch the sunrise over the lake.

As they sat by the rose bushes, Ben felt a sense of hollowness in his core that couldn’t be shaken. Even though the moment should be romantic, sitting in the same place they declared their love for each other, watching the sunrise, all he could think about was how they needed to leave as soon as possible. He would never admit this to anybody, but if the escape didn’t go to plan, he was seriously considering taking up their offer but finding a way to get them to withdraw Cassie and Alon’s conscription. He knew that they were being used as pawns to ensure that he didn't refuse, hence the threat of execution for all of them.

“Cassie's first word was dada,” Ben said, “we were walking through the town market and she just pointed at me and said dada.” He didn’t know where that memory came from, but it had started something. “Alon’s first steps were by the tree, just over there. He just got up and ran and crashed right into it. Jade wrote her name for the first time under the dining room table. We should have been mad, but we were too proud to care. We were all having dinner when we got a comm saying that the adoption papers for Jacen and Elara went through. Anne’s first laugh was in our room when I was bouncing her, trying to get her to sleep. Mira was born in the middle of the foyer…” as he trailed off he realized that he wouldn’t miss just the physical location of his home, but the memories attached.

There wouldn’t be another time when he could pass that grand old oak and smile at the memory of Alon. He wouldn’t be able to walk through the foyer and look at the spot where his youngest daughter was born. He couldn’t be reminded of all the happy memories simply by walking into a room in his home. A part of him felt as if he was abandoning all the happy memories.

While he didn’t want to leave the memories behind, the alternative was far worse.

* * *

Alon knew something was off the moment his parents walked into the room. Once again they had all been gathered in the living room to talk, only this time it felt different in the force. As he looked at his parents he could tell that they didn’t get much sleep the night before. The First Order occupation was stressful and taking its toll on everyone, but it seemed to be worse on them.

“Mom, is everything alright?” He asked, knowing that something was up.

“No,” she said, surprisingly bluntly.

“I got a letter from the First Order yesterday, saying that they want me to join their navy as a captain.” As their dad spoke, a cold fear went down his spine.

“Because of this, we have to leave as soon as possible. What's going to happen is tomorrow night we will go to uncle Luke’s temple where we will pick up a ship and go to Endor.”

“So we’ll miss the festival?” Anne asked innocently.

“Yes, you will,” mom responded.

The funny thing was, his life, Alon wanted to travel and see the galaxy, he didn’t want to live on Naboo forever, but now he was leaving he wanted to do nothing more than run-up to his room and hide under his covers like a child.

“Cassie,” he said once everyone had left and it was just them, “is it just me, but did they seem a little off?”

“Like they weren’t telling us something?”

“It did, a bit.” He said, “I guess they don’t want to worry us.”

She looked like she was about to say something when they heard a voice come from outside. They quickly moved out of the way of the door to allow themselves to be hidden just in case they heard something they shouldn’t. It was a habit from childhood.

“Hey, Poe are you alright? I didn’t see you this morning when I woke up and I felt you tossing and turning all night.” Said a voice belonging to Finn.

“Yeah, I’m fine buddy. Just everything that’s going on.”

“It seems like more than that. I know the captain is your friend and you're worried, but he’s a grown man, he can handle himself. And everyone’s leaving so he won’t have to go.”

“It’s not just him…” Poe began but they didn’t hear the rest. All that could be heard was a low rumbling of words that were too quiet and too far away to catch.

What wasn't beyond them, however, was the feeling in the force that Finn was learning some incredibly distressing news. They could also feel the fear in Poe as he shared a secret that they could only feel.

* * *

They couldn't take anything with them or else they would raise suspicions from the neighbours as to why the Solo family had packed their bags and were getting into their speeder after dark. It was the same reason why they were trying to be as quiet as possible as they all crowded into the speeder as Poe watched them. Ben was so absorbed in what he was doing, he didn't notice the group of stormtroopers gathered just outside the gates.

The children had taken leaving surprisingly well. When they explained that they wanted to take him away they immediately understood that they had to leave, and made very little fuss. They were sad, obviously, but they all had been anxious to leave and go somewhere that was safe and they could all be together.

As they pulled out a bright light flashed into his eyes, blinding him and causing him to stop moving. Slowly a trooper approached and instructed him to get out of the speeder. Not wanting to raise any suspicions, Ben obeyed.

“You are still yet to respond to the summons we sent you,” this must be Captain Phasma, if the crome armour was anything to go by, fitting Cassie's description.

“I didn't think that response was supposed to be immediate,” he said as cooly as possible, trying to hide the fear that lay just beneath the surface.

“At any rate, we have come to take you directly to the Supremacy, if you'll come with us…”

“I'm afraid that's not possible,” said Rey as she jumped out of the speeder, interrupting the captain, “we're all due to perform in the music festival this evening, I have the brochure if you would like to see it.” she walked up and handed it to the silver trooper, knowing full well that she was playing a dangerous game. It was possible that they wouldn't care and take them away anyway, but it was also possible that they didn't want it to appear that anything had changed now that Naboo was under the First Orders jurisdiction.

“This has only the children's names,” she said.

“We wanted the children to be the focus, they are the real talent after all,” Rey said. After a moment of what appeared to be thought, the captain agreed to let them perform, before being escorted away. He could only thank whatever higher power was watching that she didn't mention Cassie and Alon's conscription.

The ride to the auditorium was tense; Rey did her best to explain what was happening in as calm a manner as possible without worrying the children. He could feel their concern, but the way she explained it he almost had himself believing that everything was going to be fine and there was nothing to worry about.

As they pulled up to the auditorium they could feel the tension beginning to build, and the eyes of the dozen or so stormtroopers that followed them. They all agreed that they would perform and then leave unnoticed. When Elara asked how they would escape the stormtroopers unnoticed, Rey just said “leave that to me.”

“Ben, do you know how to do a Jedi mind trick,” she asked in a low voice as they approached the entrance.

“I did it once by accident when I told Jade to go to her room and do her homework,” he said, slightly embarrassed by the memory. “Why?”

“We might have to do it to the whole auditorium.”

“What!”

“Well the last song is a lullaby, correct?” she said, “all we have to do is use the same force as we would if we were mind tricking them when we sing. We couldn't influence over one thousand people, but I'm hoping that because it is lullaby we will be able to relax them and they'll be just that bit less observant.” her plan made sense, but he got the feeling that this was just a theory she had that they were about to put to the test.

The festival began as expected; there was a choir, a band, some individual singers but it was nearly impossible to enjoy when all he could think about was leaving, knowing that they were dead last, making their escape infinitely more difficult.

On the journey over, Jade had told them what songs they were singing; the first was their mother’s favourite song, the second was the song that he and Rey shared their first dance to as husband and wife, and the last one was Mirrorbright. Luckily they were songs that they all knew and wouldn’t have to rehearse, but as their time drew nearer and nearer Ben began to feel like they should have practiced, even if it was just to further fool the First Order.

Once they were finally on stage, being blinded by the lights of the auditorium did Ben fully realize that he hadn’t even considered the fact that he would have to perform on stage. Sensing this, Rey squeezed his hand, sending a wave of comfort over him.

The first song was fine, earning a clap from the audience, and luckily the children did most of the work. Despite the dire situation they were in he felt a sudden sense of pride at their talents. The second went as well as the first, earning another applause from what now seemed to be a clearly enchanted audience.

As the applause faded, Ben knew that it was now time to put Rey's theory to the test. One of the stagehands had brought out a guitar for Jade to play.

“Our final song for the evening,” Ben began, trying to hide the tremble I’m his voice, “is a song that is very dear to me. My mother sang it to me, and I sang it to my children, so without further ado, Mirrorbright.”

_Mirrorbright, shines the moon, its glow as soft as an ember_

As he sang, he tried to use the force to carry his voice, lowering the guard of the audience but had no luck, and from what he could see neither had Rey.

_When the moon is mirrorbright, take this time to remember_

As they sang Ben began to feel a strange shift in the force. He wasn’t sure whether it was his or Reys doing, but he felt a sudden sense of hope rise within him.

_Those you have loved but are gone_

That was when he began to hear the sound of other voices, quiet and dispersed, but there none the less.

_Those who kept you so safe and warm_   
_The mirrorbright moon lets you see_   
_Those who have ceased to be_   
_Mirrorbright shines the moon, as fires die to their embers_

More voices joined, slowly bringing the song to an unintentional crescendo.

_Those you loved are with you still—_   
_The moon will help you remember_

As the song drew to a close, Jade seemed to pick up on the momentum of the audience and began to strum the opening chords once again. Ben made a gesture to the audience to join in, all singing together, audience and performers alike.

Looking around Ben could see some of the First Order officers that had been standing guard become anxious. Mirrorbright was a lullaby from Alderaan, his mother’s homeworld and a planet destroyed by the Empire. In the years since the Empire's fall, the song had become a symbol of not just Alderaan, but a way of remembering the atrocities committed under the Empire. For Ben, the song was a comfort, a mother’s love, but for the galaxy, it was so much more. It was a symbol of rebellion.

As the song drew to a close the entire auditorium erupted into thunderous applause as cheers echoed around. Looking around he saw how some people had been genuinely moved by the moment, as tears crept down their faces.

As the moment faded, the sense of urgency renewed in Ben, like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on him. Once the lights faded, they swiftly made their way to where the performers would exit and wait backstage for the results. They, however, diverted and managed to sneak out the back door, thankfully not having to mind-trick any unsuspecting stormtroopers.

As they clambered into the speeder, they could hear the audience talking as the judges deliberated, while they slipped away into the night.

* * *

After an hour, they finally made it to Luke’s temple. They had agreed that they would go there and pick up a ship that was unknown to the First Order and would get them off-world. The Jedi were lucky that when Luke re-established the order he took a strictly non-political stance, allowing them to have special protections under Naboos law as a religious minority. Because of this, for the time being, they would be safe from the First Order, although that could change at any given moment.

As they pulled up outside the large stone entrance, Rey could feel a shift in the force and knew that the First Order was hot on their heels. Silently they rushed to the doors where they were greeted by Master Luke, Ahsoka and Xilaren.

“You made it just in time,” Luke said, forgoing the usual pleasantries that would have accompanied their visit, “I can sense a speeder nearby filled with First Order troops coming. If you want to escape you’ll have to hide. If they see what ship it is they won’t hesitate to shoot it out of the sky, or at the least report it.” The last part was whispered to her and Ben. He was right, if they saw the ship leaving they would be able to report it, making it an immediate target.

“Where should we hide?” Ben said anxiously, looking around like a stormtrooper could appear from around the corner.

“The memorial on the roof. Rey, you know which one.” She nodded. She also knew that they had a hanger close to the memorial that could only be opened by the force. They would be able to hide there until the first order left.

As they made their way up the spiral staircases to the roof, Rey could feel the First Order drawing nearer, and nearer. By the time they reached the roof, they heard a banging on the main entrance. They had arrived.

Rey realized that they wouldn’t be able to open the hanger without alerting the First Order as to where they were. Seizing the opportunity, she guided them to behind a closed off memorial that they could hide behind. It wasn’t lost on her that they were having to hide behind the plaques dedicated to the younglings killed by Anakin Skywalker.

It felt like an eternity as they all sat huddled together, trying to conceal themselves from view. Slowly footsteps could be heard drawing nearer but never reaching the stairs that lead towards their hiding place. For a brief moment she couldn’t hear the footsteps, thinking that they had left, only to realize that it was blocked by the pounding of her heart in her ears.

“What’s up here?” A distant voice said.

“The roof,” another voice said, “let’s check it out.”

Rey could hear the armoured footsteps of stormtroopers, and the softer ones of generals, making their way up to them, slowly, as if to draw out their agony. Crouching behind a plaque, they all drew in tighter together, hoping to make sure that nothing was exposed.

“Get the flashlights out.” Someone ordered. As the words left his mouth, the sounds of clicks and the sight of deadly spotlights appeared. Laboriously, they went and checked behind every statue and pillar, trying to flush them out. Eventually, someone made their way to the caged off area where they hid and began to rattle the bars.

Each time a flashlight passed over where they hid, Rey felt her heart jump into her throat. Every time she clutched the children tighter as if they might slip away from her at any moment. Eventually, they stopped passing over their hiding spot.

“There’s nothing here, let’s try the basement,” a voice said as the footsteps made their way down the stairs, disappearing from earshot.

If Rey hadn’t been so panicked, maybe she would have sensed the other presence.

* * *

Once Ben was sure that they were all gone, he looked to Rey and slowly began to rise from his crouched down position. Emerging from their hidden position, he began to check if it was clear, scanning to see if there was anybody else in there with them.

Walking out further, he began to carefully unlock the gate, trying to make as little noise as possible, even though the people chasing them were several levels below them and probably wouldn’t hear a key click. Stepping through he gestured to the others to get up and follow him when he was suddenly blinded by a bright light and a blaster pointed in his direction.

Someone must have stayed behind.

“Armitage?” Cassie said in a pained whisper, as the blaster stayed focused on him. In either a moment of bravery or pure stupidity, Ben began to approach him, arms raised in the air.

“Stay back!” He warned, his voice trembling. Despite the uniform and the weapon, all Ben could see was a boy, trembling with fear.

“How could you?” Cassie whispered. He shot her a pained look before turning back to Ben.

“I’ll- I’ll- shoot you,” his hand was beginning to tremble ever so slightly. Still Ben drew closer.

“No you won’t,” Ben said, with a surprising amount of confidence, “you’re just a boy. You're not one of them.” As Ben inched closer he could see the conflict in his eyes; should he follow orders and shoot, or should he let them go. Eventually, he made a decision.

Despite the lightning-fast speed at which the events happened, it was as if they progressed in slow motion.

As Ben took another step forward the boy in front made his decision.

He fired.

It seemed that he intended to shoot Ben's hand, but he was trembling so much he missed completely and the bolt flew straight through, missing him entirely.

As if on instinct Ben turned around and used the force to freeze the bolt.

Inches away from Cassie's face.

For a briefer moment, everyone stood there in shocked silence, unable to move or speak, and the only thing that Ben could feel was pure rage and fear and a deafening call to the dark side. It would be so easy, just to let the bolt go hurtling back to its owner as retribution for nearly killing his daughter. It would be so easy…

But then, as quickly as the feeling came, it went away again, leaving nothing but a feeling of shame as he once again saw a terrified boy who nearly killed the girl he loved. He saw Rey pull Cassie out of the way and Ben let the bolt fly true, hitting the stone wall.

His absence must have been noticed because after the bolt hit the wall they heard a voice call from below.

“Hux, you up there?” It called out.

“Yes,” he said, his voice remarkably calm, “I thought I heard something as we were leaving so I stayed. It was nothing, I was just about to go down and join you.” With that he made his way down from the roof, letting them go, but not without shooting one last glance at Cassie, as if to say he was sorry.

This time once they were sure they were alone they headed to the hidden door which Rey opened, revealing a small ship that would get them off-world while the search party scoured the labyrinth that was the temple's basement.

Silently they all boarded and took off, leaving without another sound.

* * *

As Luke stood anxiously in the entrance of the temple, he could hear the ship taking off, signalling their escape. A wave of relief flooded him as the sound grew more distant before he saw the figures of Ahsoka and Xilaren approach him with guilty looks on their faces, like children who had just eaten the last of the sweets.

“We have broken our vows of neutrality.” Xilaren began gravely.

“What did you do?” He said. As he spoke he saw the two women remove their hands from their robes, revealing wires and circuit boards. “What are these?”

“It’s their radar system from their speeder,” Ahsoka said. Despite breaking the agreement made with Naboos government, he had to appreciate their forethought; removing their radar so that it wouldn’t register any recent departures from nearby.

As he looked upon the wires Luke chuckled to himself, knowing that they were all safe.

* * *

The journey from Naboo had been mostly silent, apart from someone occasionally asking how much longer until they got to Endor. As the blue streaks passed the cockpit Ben and Rey sat, tension hanging thick in the air.

“Ben…”

“I'm not going to apologize,” he snapped, “for a brief moment in the dark.”

“I didn't expect you to,” she said, surprising him. Being trained under his uncle he half expected a lecture about the dangers of the Darkside and how it makes only empty promises, but she didn't. “At that moment all I wanted to do was strangle that boy. The only thing that stopped me was that person looking for him, snapping me out of it.”

“I'm glad we both decided to keep him alive.”

“So am i.”

“Though now I don't know how to feel,” Ben said, “he nearly killed Cassie but at the same time he let us go.”

“I think we should see what Cassie feels and go from there,” Rey reasoned. Ben nodded in agreement; it was Cassie's boyfriend, so ultimately she should decide how they feel. If she decides to hate him, they will hate him with a passion, but if she forgives him then so will they.

By the time they broke Endors atmosphere, everyone was more cheerful, chatting away as if nothing was out of the ordinary. There was a general sense of relief when they began to land and could see the base where the Resistance was stationed; they knew they were safe.

Once they were all settled into the base they began to discuss where they would go next; a military base was no place for a family in the long term. After arriving with the staff, Poe suggested that they find somewhere on the other side of the planet to live but that was quickly shot down. They knew that they needed somewhere that they could guarantee would stay neutral throughout, anywhere allied with the Republic would be an automatic target and anywhere allied with the First Order would see them captured immediately.

“I think I know a place,” Rose had said tentatively, as if she was disgusted by the words about to come out of her mouth, “you could stay in Canto Bight. It’s filled with some of the worst people in the galaxy but they all deal weapons to the Republic and the First Order so nobody is going to want to do anything that would piss them off, like invade.” She made a good point, neither side would want to do anything that could scare away their arms dealers and Canto Bight was their favourite playground.

His mother managed to find a place for them in one of the residential areas and got the children enrolled in school, as well as a different ship than the one they arrived in. The house they had found was smaller than the one on Naboo but beggars can’t be choosers and it was still a relatively large home (with a family of nine it had to be). The staff they were taking with them was going to be much smaller as well, Finn and Rose immediately jumped on the opportunity to join the Resistance, with many others following their lead.

As the doors of the ship opened, the Solo family slowly made their way inside, preparing themselves for a new life. Taking the pilot seat, Ben sat down as Rey shut the door between the cockpit and the cabin, letting the children be as loud and rambunctious as they wanted. They began to methodically go through all the preflight checks and eventually the takeoff sequence. Lifting into the air, Ben allowed himself to look back at the ground below him, saying a silent goodbye to their temporary home.

“Do you think we’ll ever go back to Naboo?” Rey asked.

“One day.” He said as he placed his hand over hers as they shifted into hyperspace.

The future was uncertain, but somehow he knew that with Rey and his family by his side, that everything was going to be alright.


	13. Epilogue

“Mom what time are they getting here?” Jacen asked as they all sat down together to watch a holo-drama that Jade had insisted they all saw together.

“Well your dad should be picking them up now but he’ll probably take them to get something to eat,” that answer seemed to satisfy him as they sat in silence, watching one character admit their feelings to another. Despite it being slightly trashy, Rey had to admit to herself that she rather enjoyed it; although she was slightly worried about Anne and Mira being up so late past their bedtime watching a show that really wasn’t appropriate for them. But then again this was a one-off and she could cover their eyes if she needed to.

As the six of them watched, so fully absorbed in the story (that thankfully didn’t necessitate Rey covering Anne or Mira’s eyes), they almost didn’t hear the telltale knock at the door. The moment Ben's knock could be heard, everyone immediately got up and ran to the entrance, making quite the noise doing so.

Opening the tall wooden door, Rey was greeted by the smiling faces of Cassie and Alon. Before Rey could reach over to them, they were swarmed by their younger siblings asking how school was and what they had been up to.

While the children bombarded their siblings with questions, Ben slipped past and made his way over to Rey, giving her an affectionate kiss.

“Did they have any trouble getting here?” She asked as he held her close.

“No, no, everything was fine,” he replied, as Rey breathed a sigh of relief.

The story that they told everyone, including the children, was that Cassie and Alon were away at university studying history and engineering respectively. That was the official story of course. In reality, the moment they turned eighteen they had signed up and joined the Resistance (a fact that they didn't want to risk slipping, especially in a place such as Canto Bight, hence having to lie to the children). Cassie has become one of their most valuable spies as she was able to enter a person's mind with surgical precision, to the point that even a well-trained force user would barely notice anyone had even entered. Alon on the other hand was a Solo through and through, becoming a pilot with a skill that could almost rival Poe (although Poe had the advantage of more years of practice).

Eventually, the two of them were released from their siblings and made their way over to greet Rey. She immediately grabbed them both and held them in a tight embrace. There had been a lot of arguing when they made their desire to join the Resistance known after they were told about their conscription's, she and Ben were worried first and foremost about their safety, but eventually, they both realized that they were old enough to make their own decisions, no matter how painful it was. Especially for Ben. When Cassie found out she began to ask Rey to teach her how to enter a person's mind without them knowing, and Alon asked for flying lessons.

Their greeting was interrupted, however, with the sudden squeal of an excited three-year-old.

“Your home!” Cal cried as he ran up to them giving them both a big hug as he continued to squeal, jumping up and down.

Rey had put him to bed over three hours ago, but all the shouting must have woken him up and sent him downstairs to see what was going on. As Rey bent down to pick him up, she saw Ben shoot the others a disapproving look for waking up their brother who was notoriously difficult to settle down.

From the moment Rey told her husband that she was pregnant he immediately began doting on her and taking care of her every need, and worrying about her constantly. At first, it was small; he would get her whatever food she was craving or massage her aching feet, but soon every time she felt a slight pain he would worry that something was wrong. While she did enjoy the attention, she did sometimes feel like she was being smothered.

 _“Dad, I swear you weren’t like this when Mira was born,”_ Cassie had said as he got her another pillow and worried about her back pain.

 _“Well your mother had already had four other children before, but this is Rey's first and the doctor said that her prolonged periods of starvation growing up may lead to some problems now,”_ he had reasoned as Rey rolled her eyes at him.

While it was true that growing up on Jakku had done some damage, Ben, in his bid to be a good husband, had blown it totally out of proportion. So when the doctor said, “ _We should just do some extra checkups to make sure that everything is progressing normally,”_ he had taken it to mean, “your wife is probably going to die.”

Rey wasn’t going to deny that she wasn't nervous, of course, she was. On Jakku, being pregnant was essentially a drawn-out death sentence and was to be avoided at all costs, but since leaving she learned that for the rest of the galaxy that wasn’t necessarily the case.

Once Cal was fully in her arms he began to yawn and cling on to her neck, indicating that despite all the excitement, he wasn’t fully awake and could probably get back to sleep soon. As they walked into the living room, Alon began to tell everybody about some of the things he had done at “university”.

“You won’t believe who I saw,” Alon said, conspiratorially.

“Who?” Ben asked.

“Bazine!” He said before continuing, “and- I swear this is true- she had a husband and a kid with her.” they all stood there in stunned silence, not quite sure what to make of what he had just said.

“Was it hers?” Elara asked, “are you sure it wasn't her sister's kid? I mean she didn't exactly make an effort with us.”

“It had to be, she looked exactly like her,” Alon said, “thing is, she looked really happy.” as he said that, Rey felt a smile tug at her lips. Although they never got on, Rey was glad that she was happy, she had felt some guilt about what had happened regarding Ben, so she was glad that Bazine had found someone that made her happy. The conversation soon moved along to the people that Alon had met and the antics he got up to, with Cassie remaining mostly silent, save for the occasional comment about her brother acting like an idiot.

After a bit of catching up, Rey reminded everyone that it was a school night and sent them to bed, leaving her and Ben to really talk with Cassie and Alon about what they had actually been doing. Up until a few months ago, Alon believed that his sister was just a recruiter for the Resistance, only discovering otherwise when he felt her presence on the Finalizer and began to panic, thinking that she had been captured. After that, the Resistance high command had to tell him that she was actually a spy to stop him from trying to stage some hair-brained rescue, blowing her cover. The only reason Ben and Rey knew about Cassie was that Leia had told them because she didn't think it was right to keep something of this magnitude from her son. Alon was the most talkative of the two, telling them about his missions and all the new places he got to see, as well as how their uncle Poe was adjusting to married life with Finn.

“So Cassie, I heard that there's a mole in the order,” Ben said suggestively, trying to get her to talk. There had been rumours about a mole for a few months, but nothing had been proven until some information that only certain ranks were privy to leaked.

“There is,” Alon said before his sister could answer.

“I was asking your sister,” Ben said slightly annoyed.

“Sorry.”

“There is,” Cassie said, “the top brass have gone into meltdown trying to find them and keep the rest of the order from finding out.”

“Do you know who it is?” Ben asked, knowing that he was pushing his luck with how much she was going to tell him.

“I do,” she said as a small smile crept onto her face.

* * *

It was early morning when Ben felt a small hand nudging him, trying to wake him up. He tried to ignore it at first, but it persisted.

“Daddy,” Cal whispered as he continued to gently shake his arm, “wake up” As Ben slowly opened his eyes he was met with his youngest son's pleading face.

“Do you want mommy?” he grumbled back only to feel a kick from Rey and see Cal shaking his head.

“Mummy’s sleeping,” she murmured, “and she woke up early two days in a row.” agreeing that it was his turn to get up early, he picked Cal up and headed downstairs, surprised by just how long he had slept. As he made his way downstairs he was greeted by the face of an incredibly grumpy Jade.

“He didn’t sleep in,” Jade said, sensing his thoughts, “he woke me up at five and wanted me to throw him in the air. When he said he wanted daddy I didn't stop him; you're the one who decided that eight of us was a good idea, so you suffer the consequences.” The level of finality in her voice told Ben that he probably shouldn’t bother arguing with this early in the morning. While Jade put on the tough act, he knew that in reality she cared deeply for her brother and enjoyed being his favourite sister. She was to Cal what Cassie was to her.

Eventually, he went and did the rounds, waking everyone up to get them ready for school. He decided to let Cassie and Alon sleep in a bit though, she didn’t have much time off, what with being a spy in the First Order she didn’t get much downtime, and Alon was evil incarnate if you dared to wake him up without cause. With this in mind, he made sure to be extra quiet as he tip-toed past their rooms. Unfortunately, Cal had other ideas and wanted the whole family awake.

“Dad,” Jade said as they sat down for breakfast, “when can I get flying lessons?”

“Well your seventeen, so you could get them now. Why?”

“Because I want grandpa to teach me next time he and grandma visit.”

“No you don’t,” Alon said, laughing slightly, “he came to visit once and took me flying and he ended falling asleep in the pilot’s seat. If it wasn’t for uncle Chewie I would probably be dead.” His father had been doing that a lot recently according to his mother but was too stubborn to admit that he was 73 and shouldn’t really be flying that bucket of bolts anymore.

“I’m pretty sure that if it wasn’t for Chewie he would have been dead several times over,” Ben grumbled, as the others laughed in agreement, “why do you want to learn anyway?”

“Because my girlfriend is learning and I don't exactly want her to think that she's dating the only Solo that can't fly.” she reasoned. With that Ben agreed to take her to some of the flight sims where she could practice.

* * *

There was a cool evening breeze wafting through the dimly lit streets of Canto Bight as the Solo family left the restaurant where they had dinner. In the distance, there was the faint sound of music and laughter coming from down one of the narrow roads. As they made their way over they could see that in one of the town squares there was a band playing with various people listening and dancing with partners, swinging each other around and laughing. After a moment the children ran onto what had been unofficially agreed as the dance floor and paired off, dancing to the lively music.

“May I,” Ben asked, holding out his hand to Rey as she watched.

“Of course,” she responded mischievously.

As they moved together under the stars, Rey couldn’t help but be reminded of a similar time when they danced together, when so much between them lay unspoken but equally shared. As the songs changed people came and went from the dance floor but Ben and Rey stayed. Soon though the band moved from their lively and upbeat music to something slower and more romantic causing most of the children to stand to the side, although Rey did see Alon dancing with someone that she didn’t recognize.

“Rey,” Ben said tentatively against her temple as he held her close, “are you happy?”

“What?” She said, taken aback by the question.

“Well, are you happy? I know that our lives together hadn’t turned out the way we expected and I know that you would probably prefer to be on Naboo where it’s green rather than this dessert but—”

“Ben,” she said cutting him off, smiling as she looked up at him, “For the longest time I thought that this kind of happiness only existed in stories that parents would tell their children. I was wrong about that and I am so grateful. So to answer your question, yes I am happy.” As she brought a hand up to cradle his jaw he held her slightly closer, bending down to kiss her softly. Not every day was perfect, some days she would cross paths with some of the people that frequented the casino and she wanted to scream at them and their wastefulness. She wanted to scream at them as a child of the desert that there were millions of children like her who would go for days on end without anything to eat and there were these people who wasted their money frivolously and treated people as if they were objects.

But there were also days when she would pick up Mira and Anne from school and they would run to her and wrap her in their warm embrace and feel so loved. There were days when she would see Jade read to Cal and feel as if her heart was fit to burst. There were days when she would be Jacen and Elara's confidant as they asked if it was wrong that they felt a curiosity about their birth mother, and she would tell them that even though her parents sold her she would always wonder, so no it wasn’t wrong to wonder. There were always the days when Cassie and Alon returned from their duties and they could all be a family.

And through all that, there was Ben, the man that loved her, despite all her faults and odd quirks. The man that she started off as seeing as a pompous ass had become the love of her life, and one of the people she treasured most.

So as they danced under the pale moonlight, holding each other close, Rey knew that she was so very, very happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and thats all folks!!!!  
> ill be honest, im sad that its over but im glad that other people have enjoyed my self indulgence, so thank you to everyone that has read, commented and left kudos, its been fun.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and once again constructive criticism is appreciated!


End file.
